Caregivers Support Group

A voluntary caregiver is a spouse, relative, friend or neighbor of a disabled person or child who assists with activities of daily living and assists those unable to fully take care of themselves. The challenges of a caregiver are unique and sometimes it's hard to find people to talk to who know what you're going through. Join the conversation and find others who...

932 Members
2,583 Posts
0 Online
Personal Challenges
/ Caregivers Support Group

caring for my wife

2earlyriser
2earlyriser
My wife has diabetes. She's 65, I'm 50. Lately her sugar levels are like a rollercoaster. Her pain levels are intense. She spends almost all day in bed. She won't eat right or exercise. I am in no way complaining but feel like she's slowly dying. I feel helpless because all I do is make her comfortable. I really don't mind caring for her, but I fear the worst if she doesn't start taking her md's advice. How do I cope?
Andelene
Andelene
I can fully relate to your anxiety. I cared for my late husband, who died of cancer in 2007. He was also diabetic, but very stubborn to eat the right foods. During the last few months, he refused to take his morphine for the intense pain. This drove me crazy, and I ended up in tears almost daily. I honestly think that he lost his will to fight, and wanted to die. So, my friend, I suggest that you talk openly to her doctor, and try to find some way to help her. Maybe she is seriously depressed, and considers giving up. It is not an easy road, but eventually the best you can do for her is to make her comfortable, respect her wishes, and be there for her.

At the moment I'm caring for my deteriorating Down Syndrome daughter, and I'm going down the same road once again. What keeps me going, is the fact that I'm doing the best I can and giving her my all, while I still can.

Hang in there, my friend!
2earlyriser
2earlyriser
Thank you for your kind words. You are in my prayers. God bless you.
Sandy102142
Sandy102142
I am so sorry about your wife. My husband can be self destructive regarding his illnesses too. Unfortunately, I have to be quite a bear with him. His meals and the food in the house are under my control so he gets more of what he needs. I don't buy much bad stuff. After all even though it is their life, their decisions effect you so that hurts us when they don't care anymore because we still do.

Their illnesses can make them very depressed. My hubby does better when he is on a med to help with the depression and anxiety. Morphine helps with discomfort and the breathing. I am learning more and more to be sure he takes it. It makes the world of difference. The Zoloft helps so much too.

You can't make her exercise, but you can be sure the right foods are in the house. She needs to get out of bed but if she is depressed that may be very hard. Talk to her dr about it. There may be some meds that can help her with if she has depression. And meds that will help with the pain. Some don't like to hear about using morphine because they think it's an end of life drug. I'm here to tell you that isn't so. It's a life saver for us.

Write when you can to let us know how things are going.

Hugs,
Sandy