Caregivers Support Group

A voluntary caregiver is a spouse, relative, friend or neighbor of a disabled person or child who assists with activities of daily living and assists those unable to fully take care of themselves. The challenges of a caregiver are unique and sometimes it's hard to find people to talk to who know what you're going through. Join the conversation and find others who...

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nightfire 12/30/2017

so i had no clue this was part of the site till just now.

since 2012 i believe it was i have been helping my mother take care of my dad who had a stroke and cant really move is left side, his face and speach are fine.

before this my wife and i lived in tennessee where she took care of her mom, well she had to go to a nursing home where she passed, i got the called that i was needing here in new orleans, i have 2 sisters, but they wanted me, so we moved down here and i been taking care of him.

at first i did a lot with his excercising everyday for a few hours and had to be with him 6 days a week while my mother worked, we also had PT people for him.

a couple of years ago i through out my back badly to the point i couldnt walk much less help dad, i got a bit better after like 2 weeks, but i was never able to help with his PT again cause of my back, fast forward, two weeks ago i finally got my surgey, it wont make it where i can do what all i was doing, but seems like im not in pain anymore, as long as i dont go wild.

i still take care of him for 12 hours a day, some sundays off, i cant really have a job other than this, and as someone on this site thinks i should tell my mom and dad to shove it and so live my life, i dont have a car anymore either (wife and i are separated at the moment, cant read my veery first post)

life is very hard for me right now and maybe some of you can relate.

Camogirl 12/30/2017

I can relate. I was my grandfather's live in caretaker for 8 years, up until the day he died. I was 20 years old when i moved in with him. I can understand a lot of what your going through. You can message me anytime to talk. I can share my experience with you if you like.

nightfire 12/30/2017

thank you so very very much

Seamus 12/31/2017

Yep, my Ma passed in 2012. I helped out a lot though I lived about an hour away.

My dad became lonely and bugged me each day to move near by. I say bugged, not in a rude way, but my dads very much a Me person. Not easy to be around. He was a social alcoholic and mean when I was young.
Anyway, I found work here, though the pay is awful. I moved into his home. Due to him blasting the TV to full volume and his cats are more important than I am. I bought an older Travel Trailer.
I am able to work. But I have no social life. No friends and pretty much work and take care of him.
His heart is bad and he's going down hill fast.
I think you and I are in similar situations.

shadowlady 01/19/2018

May God richly bless you for what you are doing for your dad. You WILL NOT regret it. I just lost my dad about six weeks ago. I was with him daily for years, helping him with PT and many more activities as you described. That is so comforting to know I was there for my dad; it will be for you too. I hope it's many years before that though. I understand that you have no time for anything else; neither did I. I'll keep you in prayer. Hang in there; the Bible is full of comfort.

nightfire 01/19/2018

thank you for the kind words, i really didnt think people on here understood what i go though along with my separation and such

Stormy13 04/10/2018

As I am new here I am just reading this. We all have so much in common. I have read so many stories and I have seen so many compassionate people here. Try to ignore those people who feel the need to be rude and nasty. There are plenty of us who know exactly what you are dealing with. We are all struggleing and for me I just need a safe place to fall apart once in a while. It does release the pressure. Hang in there as best you can.

Ghostwolf04 04/27/2018

When my mom first started to go downhill, I bartended at night so I could get out of the house and do something social. It was great for me. I worked from 5pm til midnight, sometimes a little later. I still was able to get up and deal with her at 8 am or so. She has finally recovered after knee surgery but still can't do much for herself and her personality is abhorrent. It strains my relationship with my bf and that isn't fair. It isn't fair to you either. You are not their slave and they are taking advantage of you. 12 hours a day is excessive! I hope you can get help to ease your burden. Life is so not fair.

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