Caregivers Support Group

A voluntary caregiver is a spouse, relative, friend or neighbor of a disabled person or child who assists with activities of daily living and assists those unable to fully take care of themselves. The challenges of a caregiver are unique and sometimes it's hard to find people to talk to who know what you're going through. Join the conversation and find others who...

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annewinnie 07/03/2014

doesnt anyone ever wonder why we even bother sometimes doing what we do?
i spent a good part of the night listening to her yelling at me.telling me that i should leave her. i should not be wither and "wasting" my life away.
it would be bettter according to her if i just left and she could slowly wither away and die.
this went on and on. i tried telling her this is my choice and what i want to do.that i know i dont have to but i choose to.
but why am i bothering when she doesnt want me?

ashleyjanette 07/03/2014

I wonder if this is sort of like what kids do when they push their parents buttons and say they hate them when really they're testing how much their parents love them. Not to compare her to a child but maybe it's a similar idea - maybe she doesn't think she deserves that much love and subconsciously wants to see if she can push you away. Maybe she needs your love more than ever when she's pushing you away. It sure must be hard to take though.

MelodyJane 07/03/2014

You bother because you have love in your heart!
I agree with ashleyjannette- unless she's suffering from some kind of early stage dementia, then she's probably deep in depression & her testy-ness & feelings of worthlessness are coming from that place.
I truly don't know how heavy your heart is, but please accept my & the Caregivers shoulders to vent on!
Hugs, MelodyJane

deleted_user 07/03/2014

I'm new here and still a bit hesitant to post but I can really relate to what you are going through. My husband suffers from ALS (Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis), some of you may know this as Lou Gehrigs Disease. When he was first diagnosed he entered into a very deep depression and begged me to divorce him. There were days he was so insistent I began to wonder if he had stopped loving me. But now when I remind him he lets me know he is so very glad I didn't take him seriously.

I feel this is what your wife is coping with now . Don't take it to heart and she will come around anne.

Blessings, Viv

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