Caregivers Support Group
A voluntary caregiver is a spouse, relative, friend or neighbor of a disabled person or child who assists with activities of daily living and assists those unable to fully take care of themselves. The challenges of a caregiver are unique and sometimes it's hard to find people to talk to who know what you're going through. Join the conversation and find others who...
why does it seem like nothing good every happens anymore. so we have a clear cut answer that my wife for sure has ovarian cancer.
so now its the battle of seeing doctors and determing how she wants to deal with this and what course of action she wishes to take.
this is exhausting and frustrating.
and on top of this we are told that because of the ovarian cancer it wil make the meopause symptoms worse. and oh boy has it ever. she is down right mean and cruel some days.
she took off this morning with her mother to a doctor appointment after she spent literally and hour yelling at me that i was useless and a horrible person.
i am on the verge of just completely walking away.but i do know this is not her. this is a result of all the shit that is happening.
but seriously how much of this do i have to endure. my only crime is loving my wife and wanting to help her through all this
i have scarificed so much. between caring for her and keeping a job to pay bills i am only sleeping 3 to 4 hours a day.my bodys fuel tank is running on fumes.
she has been approved for a disability pension but that could take a few months still to see any money from then. when that does come in I will take a compassionate leave from work, but that is still so far away.
when she yells at me i am even too exhausted to yell back. i just sit and listen and say ok im sorry you feel that way.which seems to piss her off even more.
i am scared i am at the brink of my breaking point. because if i reach that breaking point i have no idea what in the world is going to happen.over 10 years ago i did literally suffer from a mental break down.i feel like i am walking closer and closer to that edge once again.
my life is in complete chaos. for any that have listened to all my ranting thank you.
so now its the battle of seeing doctors and determing how she wants to deal with this and what course of action she wishes to take.
this is exhausting and frustrating.
and on top of this we are told that because of the ovarian cancer it wil make the meopause symptoms worse. and oh boy has it ever. she is down right mean and cruel some days.
she took off this morning with her mother to a doctor appointment after she spent literally and hour yelling at me that i was useless and a horrible person.
i am on the verge of just completely walking away.but i do know this is not her. this is a result of all the shit that is happening.
but seriously how much of this do i have to endure. my only crime is loving my wife and wanting to help her through all this
i have scarificed so much. between caring for her and keeping a job to pay bills i am only sleeping 3 to 4 hours a day.my bodys fuel tank is running on fumes.
she has been approved for a disability pension but that could take a few months still to see any money from then. when that does come in I will take a compassionate leave from work, but that is still so far away.
when she yells at me i am even too exhausted to yell back. i just sit and listen and say ok im sorry you feel that way.which seems to piss her off even more.
i am scared i am at the brink of my breaking point. because if i reach that breaking point i have no idea what in the world is going to happen.over 10 years ago i did literally suffer from a mental break down.i feel like i am walking closer and closer to that edge once again.
my life is in complete chaos. for any that have listened to all my ranting thank you.
Best of luck & many hugs, MelodyJane
Hugs and best wishes, Phoebe :-)
Hugs.
the doctor is aware of the changes in her and has suggested couselling for her but she wont go.
i arranged for someone to take her and be there for her and everything. I cant go with her as i have to work.
my day starts at 8 am. its getting up with her . helping her get dressed and ready. as sick as she is she refuses to stopworking. she is a courier. she drives for a living. so she has her friend to run in and out of the car and she just drives.
so its up at 8 get her ready for work. make our breakfast and her lunch.she leaves by 9 45
then im back to bed for a quick nap. then up by 11 30. then i start on supper preperations.
i have my supper at 2pm. then she is home from work. so heloing her get settled in for the rest of the day.
then i have to et ready for work. i work from 5pm to 3 am sometimes 330am
i am home by 4am/430 and in bed by 5am/530.by the time i get home and shower. i work in a kitchen and its hot in there so definetly need shower before bed.
so i just dont have time for a counsellor right now. and if she has doctors appointments, my morning nap is out.
Here's my experience about verbal abuse. I've been honest that my husband verbally abused me before his stroke. And after the stroke.... when his meds were reduced he continued. At first I also just took it, like you annewinnie, then I started coming back at him and sticking up for myself. Turns out both were of no help. One made me feel angry and the other only escalated the whole issue. It was when I took myself out of the picture (or left like Walter suggested) did my husband back off. You don't have to go far, I usually go outside on my back porch for an hour or so. And when I come back in I say "Let's talk now". It's about the only thing that's helped for me at least so far.
My husband also has brain damage so telling him the verbal abuse "was not acceptable" went right over his head. It's really a difficult position to be in. I hope things get better for you.
Hugs, Phoebe
I am sure she is scared, but she must not allow her fear to make her abusive.