Caregivers Support Group
A voluntary caregiver is a spouse, relative, friend or neighbor of a disabled person or child who assists with activities of daily living and assists those unable to fully take care of themselves. The challenges of a caregiver are unique and sometimes it's hard to find people to talk to who know what you're going through. Join the conversation and find others who...
Hi everyone :)
I am a member of the "depression supporters" forum and over the last couple weeks have really realized more about my caregiving duties and it's taking a new toll on me.
So... I am a depression supporter of the man I love more than anything on Earth. He is unemployed and I support him fully. He struggles with depression. I have learned to deal with this and be a better supporter to him and actually help him largely due to the support of the support group. He has a mentally challenged brother which I have known for the past 5 years would one day live with us and we would take care of him.
We currently live in another state so we only see his brother on visits a few time a year and have a great time! We he been staying with his family for a month now and I can see that I did not anticipate all that this caregiving entailed. All my love and energy goes into my love- he is my life. I realize I have not saved energy to care for his brother. He is like a child who needs constant attention and is constantly making tons of noise. In addition, I have not had a moment alone with my love. I miss our alone time immensely!!! I miss cuddling on the couch watching tv or driving and listening to music! He is always with us.
I am not saying by any means I am not going to do this- it's part of the deal and he's a sweet guy and so kind. I just realize that I need to come here and learn from the pros :). I am scared to not be able to be what I need to be or have the patience I need.
I am a member of the "depression supporters" forum and over the last couple weeks have really realized more about my caregiving duties and it's taking a new toll on me.
So... I am a depression supporter of the man I love more than anything on Earth. He is unemployed and I support him fully. He struggles with depression. I have learned to deal with this and be a better supporter to him and actually help him largely due to the support of the support group. He has a mentally challenged brother which I have known for the past 5 years would one day live with us and we would take care of him.
We currently live in another state so we only see his brother on visits a few time a year and have a great time! We he been staying with his family for a month now and I can see that I did not anticipate all that this caregiving entailed. All my love and energy goes into my love- he is my life. I realize I have not saved energy to care for his brother. He is like a child who needs constant attention and is constantly making tons of noise. In addition, I have not had a moment alone with my love. I miss our alone time immensely!!! I miss cuddling on the couch watching tv or driving and listening to music! He is always with us.
I am not saying by any means I am not going to do this- it's part of the deal and he's a sweet guy and so kind. I just realize that I need to come here and learn from the pros :). I am scared to not be able to be what I need to be or have the patience I need.
You are correct to rethink your decision. None of us really understand until we are there what caregiving entails. The fact that you are missing so much of your private time speaks volumes. Please have a one on one talk with your partner and let him know your worries. You are in this together and should share this.
Good luck !
Hugs, Gwen
Loves, MelodyJane
It is a very odd situation for me.
I am a needy person and losing my time with my partner has killed me over this past month. An what's really been hurting is over the years hes always ensuring we have our alone time when we visit his family. But not this time- he wants as much brother time as possible. And that is so great- I just miss him.
I am really going to have to work on how I feel and handle this all. I know i have a ton of learning to do and a ton of growing to do with his brother. You know how it is when you are with your significant other... They're really the only person you can spend all the time in the world with. I can spend every second of everyday with him. I love him. But all of a sudden there is a third person who has jumped in. He completely acts like he's right at home and when we are cuddling he comes and cuddles too. Its just really beginning to irritate me. I need to keep reading from you wonderful people and learning the tricks of the trade I suppose. :). Thank you