Career Changes Support Group
This community is dedicated to the difficult challenges of transitioning from one career or job to a new one. Especially as we grow older, it can be very difficult to acquire the skills and relationships and take the financial risk to make the switch.
I've been at my company for nearly 10 years. In April I got a new boss who treats everyone like crap. It's clear she's never supervised people before. She gave me a memo last week that said I was a bad communicator, disorganized and didn't take feedback well. She said when someone criticizes a decision I make, instead of explaining why I made the decision I have to just be quiet and say I'll do better next time instead of explaining why I made the decision. I think this stems from a meeting where my director questioned why I put a 2,000 gallon kayak tank in the location I did at an event. The tank was somewhat remote in comparison to the rest of the activities.I told him I agreed it was not an ideal location but it was there because the person in charge of the park wouldn't let me put it anywhere else because of drainage issues and because it had to be within 400 feet of a hydrant. Why was it bad to explain it wasn't my choice to put it there?
Everything she said in the memo was garbage! Not once time in my entire life have I ever gotten a bad review or received anything like this. I have tons of letters/emails from people praising me for my good communication and organizational skills. The Mayor of the City I work for and another supervisor in my department sent me complimentary emails after a big project I completed in July.
I had five days off this weekend and was sick the entire time over this. What do I do? I've decided to quit as soon as I find another job but I do need to stand up for myself and not go out without a fight. If I felt there was any truth to her memo I would not fight it but it's all false. I can't let someone who has supervised me for four months ruin my good record.
The few people I talked to about this said to schedule a meeting with her and her supervisor tomorrow and say I don't agree with the document. The problem is her supervisor hired her and in my opinion doesn't want to get in trouble for making a bad hiring choice. He's already in hot water for hiring another idiot. I'm not sure he'll have my back over hers.
Shortly after she started I was looking up a phone number for someone in another department for this bubble tower you can rent for events. I was on his website which is bright and colorful. She walked by my desk and asked what I was doing. When I told her researching bubble towers for someone in the Mayor's office she told me it wasn't a good use of my time and I had more important things to do. How can I be an event coordinator and not research things like that??? I was looking up a phone number. It took 10 seconds! That's what I'm dealing with. I want out so bad but I don't want to go out without standing up for myself. I'm a huge pushover, I fear confrontation and this is WAY out of my comfort zone. I refuse to be treated like this though so any advice will be helpful. Sorry this is so long.
Everything she said in the memo was garbage! Not once time in my entire life have I ever gotten a bad review or received anything like this. I have tons of letters/emails from people praising me for my good communication and organizational skills. The Mayor of the City I work for and another supervisor in my department sent me complimentary emails after a big project I completed in July.
I had five days off this weekend and was sick the entire time over this. What do I do? I've decided to quit as soon as I find another job but I do need to stand up for myself and not go out without a fight. If I felt there was any truth to her memo I would not fight it but it's all false. I can't let someone who has supervised me for four months ruin my good record.
The few people I talked to about this said to schedule a meeting with her and her supervisor tomorrow and say I don't agree with the document. The problem is her supervisor hired her and in my opinion doesn't want to get in trouble for making a bad hiring choice. He's already in hot water for hiring another idiot. I'm not sure he'll have my back over hers.
Shortly after she started I was looking up a phone number for someone in another department for this bubble tower you can rent for events. I was on his website which is bright and colorful. She walked by my desk and asked what I was doing. When I told her researching bubble towers for someone in the Mayor's office she told me it wasn't a good use of my time and I had more important things to do. How can I be an event coordinator and not research things like that??? I was looking up a phone number. It took 10 seconds! That's what I'm dealing with. I want out so bad but I don't want to go out without standing up for myself. I'm a huge pushover, I fear confrontation and this is WAY out of my comfort zone. I refuse to be treated like this though so any advice will be helpful. Sorry this is so long.
It was hard to accept, but in the end all I needed to know was that in my own mind and in the eyes if God, I was a good worker who had just been relived from being in the presence of someone consumed by the devil.
My firing lead me to a position I still hold today...nearly five years later. My success in my current position and the recognition of my current employer validates my positive contributions. So I would say to focus your energy on finding a new job...and leave this evil witch to her own agenda.
I have seen a whole lot of what you are talking about lately and it is so disrespectful. Let's face it, in this economy, employers have the upper hand and if they have power issues, watch out. Is she like this with others as well ( my guess is yes). I have had a few incidences like this with a few people.
One has gone because she had so many complaints.
She often walked in and watched what I was doing and played all sorts of games. I think that she had a personality disorder. It's hell to work with this sort of person because they can ruin your self esteem and your motivation to do your job.
Is there someone above her that you trust and can talk to.
I would be a little bit hesitant about setting up a time to confront her, especially without someone else with you.
You can try to keep a log of your interactions. I ended up setting up a behavior plan with this boss where if she did A, I did B.
So for instance if she came nosying around the office, I would say " oops I have to go fax something, or whatever" and leave.
Or I would be very formal with her or whatever works
You could say, "I know you think that this isn't important and I respect what you have to say, but may I explain why it's an important part of my job:? She sounds kind of dangerous
and definitely on a power trip.
Keep a log and go to EAP or whomever if needed
As you said, you are a good employee who has invested a lot of time in your company. Don't give in.
I scheduled a meeting with her and her supervisor tomorrow however someone I confided in said her supervisor most likely had a hand in the memo I received. I also don't think he will stand up for me. He (age 39) and my supervisor are flying out of state this weekend to attend a college football game.Their schools are playing each other. Interesting. I wonder how his wife feels about that.
Today I found out some other information that pretty much solidifies that I need to leave. The head of our department advised another supervisor to give his staff less than stellar reviews because he thinks all of our reviews are too good and don't encourage us to work toward anything. SAY WHAT??? This lady in her late 50s has never had a bad review in her life and this was her first. I see a problem here.The three supervisors I've mentioned are new within the past two years and all three are the most self-absorbed people I've ever met. Four people have quit and two have been fired and rumor is more are on the way out. I've never seen people talk about themselves as much as they do. It just shows the office has gone to hell and the only way to fix this problem is to leave. I'm not going down without a fight though. Everything all of you said is spot on and I'm just going to leave. It makes me sad because I LOVE my co-workers and it is so sad that they've ruined a great thing for me. I'm sure better things are ahead. I just need to survive until I get a new job. Ugh! The anxiety might kill me first! :)
Colleges started suspending college-aged adults for some of the things they were doing. That was about ten years ago. Now they're thirty and are our bosses.
I'm not putting all young people in this narrow box, but there is a difference in how young people are now and how they were in previous years. A 38 year old person is a world away from how the young are now. It's incredible and I'm happy to be away from them. It's reality TV and the do anything to get ahead; where bad behavior is rewarded. No more moral of the story type scenarios--instead it's make a sex tape and become famous.