First, let me say that I'm sorry about your mother. I lost mine so I know how hard this could be. In fact, I lost mine around the same time I was making some job changes. In my case, I had been in IT for nearly 25 years. I'd hated it from the beginning, starting in college. I'd gone ahead because at the time it was such a good career choice: you had job security and above average pay. And I'd been told my mom and others that this was the way to go. I'd literally picked this career at the age of 10--the career of tomorrow they'd said in the 60s. So, years later I felt disillusioned, burned out, hated to go to work. So, I waited until they were ready to downsize(I needed the severance package) and made sure I was on the list.

Then off to nursing school I went, pursuing the career I'd always dreamed of. Only it was a nightmare. My husband was supportive, first encouraging me to pursue my dream and then being their for me when I made the decision to leave this career. He was the only one. Everyone else said I was crazy to leave a career with so much potential. They were thinking money. I was thinking happiness and health. Nursing was making me physically ill.

Now, it's been nearly 8 years. I went into sales after leaving nursing school. And guess what--it's been lousy. Living on commission is not for everyone. And after my husband passed, I had to depend on the money.

Now, I find myself leaving this job because the commission check had all but disappeared.

I told you my story to make a point. I had three different careers and none of them gave me what I want. Why? Because it is not the purpose of a job to give you fulfillment. The purpose of a job is to provide financially for you. If you don't need the financial support, then you can do whatever you want. But if you need the money, you must work. And you've got to put aside how you feel about the job because none of them are satisfying. Not really. They're not designed to be.

I heard the saying, "do what you want and the money will follow."

But think about it. What type of money are we talking?

It could be minimum wage. It could be a public aid check.

So, imho, the way to happiness is to seek it outside your job. See your job as a means to an end. You make money, so now you can take that trip to Paris or something. Just don't spend your life looking for that perfect job. It doesn't exist.

spirit12 hello I am new here and have read your posts with much interest as I too have been going through job angst since being laid off from my long time job at Christmas time no less! I was having a health issue and was out of work on long term disability only to find that whenI returned I was no longer welcomed by my manager.I was let go unjustly and have not recovered from it. I have gone on numerous job interviews and am only offered the low pay positions. It is my age that is the problem as I am in my fifties and considered no longer viable in the workplace .What am I to do to survive? I took pne of the low pay unprofessional jobs and lasted 3 days! It was horrible working with people who distained me because Ihave a degree and don't live in a trailor park! I am a school teacher by profession and am used to working in a certain type of environment.
I feel your pain and anxiety and depression is definitely knocking at my door too. add to that the resentment at home over my not bringing in the income now. I too feel useless and ashamed. But you cannot work somewhere that makes you feel bad, that's even worse than no job at all.Ive been there done that and wont do it again so Im hoping for you that something will come along that makes you feel good about yourself if you can hold out for it. So sorry for your suffering. I will pray for you to be strong and keep hopeful.

Some wonderful responses, thank you as they mean a lot to me.

I listen and absorb all of what you are both saying and I hear the key points as

- Be happy outside of work
- Use your job to compliment your life, not to drive it
- There is no perfect job in reality world
- Health first, think of how the job is affecting you mentally and physically too
- Good management is essential
- Better to be unemployed than miserable at work

I'll be giving this new job a little more time so that I can figure out if it gets any better, and if it doesn't I will look for something part time. Full time work in the middle of grief, anxiety and depression is really very difficult because it's like there is no room to 'just be' and left tired at the end of the day.

I find myself wanting to quit everyday already, not a good sign.. but I do wonder if I may feel that way where-ever I go because of my emotional state.

You said "Full time work in the middle of grief, anxiety and depression is really very difficult because it's like there is no room to 'just be' and left tired at the end of the day." How well you described the feeling of just wanting to be left alone to stare into space and focus on nothing but your thoughts when you are enveloped in grief ! I remember the feeling exactly, when my marriage of 26 years ended abruptly. I too was working full time running my own business that went under due to my inability to focus because of the emotional turmoil. I then stopped working altogether for a period of 4 months and isolated myself from everyone while I dealt with the agonizing work of going through all the necessary stages of grief. You too need to take the time you need to heal. A good grief councilor will help you through it .If you have to work try a job that's part time if you can as you will be exhausted through the process. Sleep, cry , yell, eat ,repeat. Eventually you will begin to make sense of your life again .You will get better and find happiness again. Hugs and prayers