Hi shannafarren,

It takes a lot of courage to stand up to bullies and you don't have to do this alone. Bad people try to weaken those who are struggling with problems because they are too weak to face their own struggles. You are very brave to open up and tell that this behavior is hurting and distracting you. Please speak to any mature adults living with you or those at school. Speak up and tell what's going on to your school's administrators and other personnel as well; perhaps even speaking with a favorite teacher is a good idea. I know that it is very early in the school term but there are adults in the building who are willing to help you deal with these people telling you to harm yourself. Again, you are very brave to seek for someone to listen to your thoughts and help you find safety, and never give up on telling any people you trust how you feel when it hurts you. I hope and pray that you will have a very happy and successful school term, dear one. Take care! Smile when it hurts the most and this let's others know that you are strong and not afraid of them. :-)

Remiah <3

Hello Shanna - I completely agree with Remiah. And I promise you: Life gets better. When I was in middle school, I thought about killing myself. I wrote the notes, and I made plans. And I thought about how upset everyone would be. "I'll show them!" Like you, I'll bet - thinking about the people who told you to kill yourself. But then I happened to meet a counselor in my school. And she was a great help to me. Then I started taking medication. And life got better. That was 30 years ago. Today, I have a daughter in middle school. And she makes me so, so, SO happy and proud. I am here to tell you that middle school is simply not the end of the world. It probably feels like it, though. It can be depressing, sad, lonely, and perhaps even damned miserable. But life goes on and life gets SOOO much better and more fun. I promise.

I totally get it, to be honest while in hs I often thought about suicide or hurting others that hurt me, in the end I somehow managed to graduate. I hope things get better for you.

Do you have any adults you trust to help you confront the bullies and end the bullying?

Hugs xx. Middle school for me sucked... I had a close friend luckily who was good at making other friends, but I was an awkward girl. I tried way too hard to be friends with the popular crowd and eventually they stopped talking to me.

It does get better. At least try to hold on until college. If you have Instagram try following enj0ythejourney. She's an inspiration.

i also got told to kill myself when i was in elementary & middle school. it socially isolates you on purpose. they do it so that others will see you as damaged goods only. bullies who have Narcissistic Personality Disorder tend to do this when they're young. they learn it from their parents. i really hope you don't try it again. when i was young like you, i befriended a bunch of good teachers. i mean, i was already seen as a "loser". it couldn't get any worse. & the teachers cared enough to teach me how to let what others say roll of my back, "Like water off a duck's back". they taught me how to ignore it, literally tune it out. b/c it's just white noise. bullies who do this are really unhealthy & can only create white noise. when you see them laugh, it's often fake. when you see them happy, it's often fake charm. when you see them have fun, it's often at others expense. they aren't worth it. you are. teachers also taught me the joy of books. if you keep a book at your side, in your bag, you can always grab that & tune those freaks out. make sure you have your weapons of defense - mp3 player, books, good female teachers, & pepper spray. life is hell when you're young. i'm so sorry you're having to go through this. i guarantee if you get a pepper spray keychain, it will give you courage. just don't take it to school. i got one whose proceeds go to helping kids/teens, & it's the best courage i ever had. i've never had to use it. it just gives me courage. i put mine on a keychain wrist coil but you can also put one on a keychain wristlet. i know your school won't let you have one in the school, but if you just own one, word will get around. make sure & take it with you when you go to the mall. you have to protect yourself sweetie. & show these idiots that you mean business. stay alive is rule #1. we don't know if we get stuck on earth when we die. & death very well might not be the end of pain. i'm so sorry.

I am an adult but I'm doing a boxing class and amazed at how much I've learned and wished I did this in my childhood or teens.