How is your self esteem? Sometimes low self esteem will send the wrong message to other people. They have a tendency to treat you like a door mat. I just had a realization that my self esteem has been trompled by someone. This left me almost paralyzed in situations where I need to explain how I do something at work. I have not been sexually harrased however same out come.

We unfortunately live in an age where young men no longer are learning proper behavior from their parents. There are too many single moms out there that don't have the time to do it and the father has run off setting the example of I don't give a rats @ss about you. I'm sure in the 50's women were not treated as poorly as they are now but as you can see as years pass young men (and even young women) are becoming more and more intolerant because of lack of parenting.

And by the way, with a country who has the highest divorce rate in the world what do we expect?

So often, the friendship thing, especially among teen-aged boys, is
just to be near the girl he wants to date. Girls do that, too, but they
may not expose themselves and risk rejection - just a guess.

If you come into a relationship as friends, the opportunity for turning the situation sexual shouldn't happen. Boundaries are always important. Don't ignore dirty jokes, sexual inuendo - those serve a purpose, and you just say you don't like that kind of thing. If you wear your short shorts, he
will be distracted, and think you may be letting him know you want more than friendship. You could probably wear a nun's habit, and he would be thinking you want more than friendship. They're males, not dogs, still...

...continued

If there was any phsycal aggression, anythiing degrading, you should tell
your parents, and not be alone, not assume that it was a one time thing.

I hope you find true friends, that you can have fun spending time with,
and trust.

Perhaps you need to review your judgment on the type of guys you prefer to 'hang out' with. I'm not saying this is acceptable behavior but you also need to be realistic in today's world. Many of these boys probably don't have fathers to teach them "how" to properly treat a girl hence their role models are what they see on TV and the media or just to 'be cool' in front of their friends.

Nobody is forcing you to hang with these guys are they? You do have a choice to choose better guys to be friends with right? I think you need to stop blaming the guys and accept responsibility for your own choices. You want to hang with them be prepared to face the consequences.

As far as telling your parents be my guest. I knew too many kids in my day that did that and it just made the situation worse. Parents can't babysit you 24/7 it's up to you to have the guts to decide your not going to take that crap anymore. Find new friends and try and stay away from those that treat you like garbage.

Well I guess that it is my fault. And I shouldn't be so stupid. I want to feel loved so I talk to guys but then they hurt me which makes want that more.

Violet -
First of all, you are NOT stupid and it's NOT your fault. Ive read a bit of your background and posts and it's plain to see you very sadly and unfortunately didn't have the proper guidance from your "parents".

That is THEIR fault. NOT YOURS.

It sounds like you were never taught proper boundaries. Perhaps seeking out a good counselor in school would be a good place to start. I know you have a lot on your plate at home... be easy on yourself. Take care of yourself.

You'll need to work on yourself and build up your self esteem and go with your gut when something doesn't feel right. Unfortunately, there are a lot of A**holes out there and as you work on yourself and realize what you're comfortable with and realize your self worth, you will recognize red flags and learn to just stay away from the wrong people.

Hugs,

I realize I'm so desperate for love and attention I'll be friends with anyone then get hurt which makes me want love more.