Bullying Support Group
Bullying is the act of intentionally causing harm to others, through verbal harassment, physical assault, or other more subtle methods of coercion such as manipulation. Bullying can be defined in many different ways, but one thing is clear: no one deserves to be bullied. If you or someone you know is coping with bullying, this is the place to share your feelings and get...
Long story short, two years ago my younger brother got mad at our elderly mother and slapped her. I told him if he did it again I was going to punch him.
Last month, he did it again. So I punched him. He had to take a few days off of work, but he'll be okay. I don't know what to do anymore. He drinking and abusing our mother. I am confident he will not hurt me. Apparently he only hits old women.
I tried calling the police but he did not hit me, he hit our mother and since she refuses to call the cops there is nothing I can do to make them get involved. Mom does tell me about what happens and has happened. I got tired of listening to it so tried to get my mom to see a doctor. She refused. I tried to get her to talk to police. She refused. I tried to get her to move out and not live with him anymore, she refused.
I just don't know what to do. Mom calls and asks for my help but does not do anything to keep herself safe. I'm too angry to make good decisions right now so I haven't done anything for almost a month. Any suggestions on a positive course of action for me?
Last month, he did it again. So I punched him. He had to take a few days off of work, but he'll be okay. I don't know what to do anymore. He drinking and abusing our mother. I am confident he will not hurt me. Apparently he only hits old women.
I tried calling the police but he did not hit me, he hit our mother and since she refuses to call the cops there is nothing I can do to make them get involved. Mom does tell me about what happens and has happened. I got tired of listening to it so tried to get my mom to see a doctor. She refused. I tried to get her to talk to police. She refused. I tried to get her to move out and not live with him anymore, she refused.
I just don't know what to do. Mom calls and asks for my help but does not do anything to keep herself safe. I'm too angry to make good decisions right now so I haven't done anything for almost a month. Any suggestions on a positive course of action for me?
I had a very similar situation with my brother and grandmother. She enabled him to make horrible decisions and abuse her (physically and mentally) and it was really hard to witness. She wouldn't kick him out or have him arrested. She didn't understand that she wasn't helping by enabling him. One day when he pulled his crap I pushed him. Our resentment kept building until one day I beat him up and I ended up going to jail.
This anger inside of you is something that can destroy you. You obviously care about your mother a great deal and you can't stand to see her let herself be abused. After a certain point she has to decide she's done being abused, otherwise all the support you give her will be for nothing.
This can be a very challenging thing because you know that she should call the cops/do something but until she decides she's ready you will ultimately have no control in the situation. You have to accept that or it could ruin your life as well.
Tell yourself that you are there to support her when she's ready to take action. Be patient with her and keep encouraging her. In the meantime please understand that you cannot do anything without her support and do whatever it takes to not let your life be consumed by this.
Be strong.
here a website hopefully this will help
http://www.aoa.gov/AoA_programs/Elder_Rights/EA_Prevention/whatIsEA.aspx
It sounds like you're suffering from an unhealthy family dynamic. Did something traumatic perhaps occur in the family, which caused your brother to behave in this particular way? You cannot blame your brother for his issues. Everyone in the family contributes to the nature of its dynamic.
Would group counselling be a feasible option for your family? I know that there's a stigma attached to it, but it may be your best possible course of action.
Wishing you the best.