Bullying Support Group
Bullying is the act of intentionally causing harm to others, through verbal harassment, physical assault, or other more subtle methods of coercion such as manipulation. Bullying can be defined in many different ways, but one thing is clear: no one deserves to be bullied. If you or someone you know is coping with bullying, this is the place to share your feelings and get...
Hi everyone,
My name is Rachel, I'm 16 years old. I have only had an account for 1 day so if I'm doing the wrong thing sorry....
I am not entirely sure if anyone will read this but I wanted to tell you my personaly experiance(s) with bullying. I have been bullied my whole entire school life, people might think that is 110% crap but it is true. I am not that girl that gets into fights galore, I am just your regular friendly teen. Actually regular isn't the word I would use, I'm not 'normal' and I have learn't to accept that. Around 4-5 days ago I discovered that I have ADHD, if you don't know or understand what that is please google it. I have been thrown around the bullying scene for around 12 years, my whole time of being a student in primary school to high school (I am currently year 11 in Australia). When I started high school I thought all the peti primary school bullying would disaper, to find out to my disapointment that I was very wrong. I was bullied ALOT more, I became un-motivated and I lost who I was as a person. I lost my friends because I wasn't 'wealthy' enough. Yes, I was friends with the rich pompus cows. They made me feel like shit, everyday up until now. I can't look at them withought wanting to burst into tears. I am a skateboarder, yes a chick who skates, alot of the time I get crap for that too. I am targeted as 'feral' 'poor' 'drugo' etc. etc. etc. everything I am not. Sure, I am not rich but aye, money doesn't grow on trees. Anyways, I started self harming (burning myself in the shower, banging my head against the wall, punching my stomach etc.) I began to feel depressed, I am sure it was just ADHD now though. I never fit in anywhere. Until I met my wonderful boyfriend and he changed my life, I have been with him for almost 8 months BUT about 2 weeks ago I was sexually assulted by his besfriend and I am beggining to feel depressed and suicidle again. I won't right anymore because I would hate to trigger anything for someone on here or myself. If you have any advice please help xxx
every thing will be ok
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It was a really damaging experience, and at 16 I certainly didn't understand just how much damage it truly did. At 17-19 I self-harmed (cutting). I too, "lost myself as a person". To be more exact, my boundaries got permanently disrupted, and I still have trouble with relationships of all kinds - from family, to friends, to love. Less than before, but it's still there.
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However, here are some useful things that I learned, that YOU should know.
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1) Everything you've been through thus far, it makes it seem like the rest of your life will be just like it. This is FALSE. Kindergarten and school (grade, middle, high) are a special little hell. After that, you get out, and it is different. Even college is different. It may not be heaven, but it is a far cry from hell.
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2) The "wonderful boyfriend" will never fix your life. Nobody outside of you, can fix you. They can make you feel high, like a drug, but it's always temporary. First, you have to heal parts of yourself which have been fragmented by bullying, the parts of you which don't feel loved.
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Let's say somewhere at 6 years old, you were kicked in the head. That 6-year-old you has been fragmented from the main you, she's still inside you, but she feels disconnected and afraid. Let's say at 12 you've been humiliated in front of the class. Now that 12-year-old is another copy of you, also disconnected from the rest of you.
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Your job is to look inside yourself, and re-integrate all the parts of you which feel vulnerable, unloved, fragmented from your whole self. I know it is easier said than done - but it took me a long time to realize this is what was happening to me. Maybe if you know this earlier, you will accomplish it faster.
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FINALLY... yes at your age I felt suicidal and I didn't even know what depression was, but I was deeply depressed. Kids are brutal to other kids who "don't fit in". But you should hang in there. You survived the worst of it. You didn't come all this way for nothing. Don't quit now.
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I don't know if you've yet had any spiritual inclinations, and her Youtube channel does tend to go in that direction... but she makes videos on a lot of dark subjects, and they are very helpful to people like ourselves... because she came from a similar place, and she found how to navigate herself out of those experiences.
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Try her channel. She has videos addressing most dark subjects that may come up in your mind.