Bullying Support Group
Bullying is the act of intentionally causing harm to others, through verbal harassment, physical assault, or other more subtle methods of coercion such as manipulation. Bullying can be defined in many different ways, but one thing is clear: no one deserves to be bullied. If you or someone you know is coping with bullying, this is the place to share your feelings and get...
I had a bully incident about a year ago.
The embarrassing part is that the bully was actually my best friend. That has made me really hate myself.
We knew each other for about 16 years. This person was very narcissistic. He would talk down to me all the time and "needed" for me to agree with his opinions. When I disagreed with this person they would get really mad and physically intimidate me. Although I don't doubt my fighting ability this person weighed more than 100 lbs more that I do.
I've always been afraid of getting into trouble. On top of that I never really learned how to stand up for myself.
Eventually one day my girlfriend and I were at the bully's house hanging out. He started talking to her like she was stupid and she stood up for her opinion. (I should also mention that in this debate the bully never actually did research on what was being discussed and was wrong). He became so enraged that he pointed his finger at her, cussed at her and raised his fist to intimidate her.
At that point I stated that we were leaving and we went home. Although the bully half apologized via voice mail I never returned their phone calls and cut them out of my life.
I feel like I am a coward for not standing up to him/letting him intimidate my girlfriend and this has had a severe impact on my confidence/ability to respect myself as a person.
Do you think I did the right thing by just walking away from a situation involving my girlfriend being intimidated or am I a coward?
The embarrassing part is that the bully was actually my best friend. That has made me really hate myself.
We knew each other for about 16 years. This person was very narcissistic. He would talk down to me all the time and "needed" for me to agree with his opinions. When I disagreed with this person they would get really mad and physically intimidate me. Although I don't doubt my fighting ability this person weighed more than 100 lbs more that I do.
I've always been afraid of getting into trouble. On top of that I never really learned how to stand up for myself.
Eventually one day my girlfriend and I were at the bully's house hanging out. He started talking to her like she was stupid and she stood up for her opinion. (I should also mention that in this debate the bully never actually did research on what was being discussed and was wrong). He became so enraged that he pointed his finger at her, cussed at her and raised his fist to intimidate her.
At that point I stated that we were leaving and we went home. Although the bully half apologized via voice mail I never returned their phone calls and cut them out of my life.
I feel like I am a coward for not standing up to him/letting him intimidate my girlfriend and this has had a severe impact on my confidence/ability to respect myself as a person.
Do you think I did the right thing by just walking away from a situation involving my girlfriend being intimidated or am I a coward?
We were all created by God above and are therefore perfect creations made by Him. Everyone is good, useful, and special, and has a unique purpose to serve in this world. (Sorry if you're not religious, but faith is important in my life.)
add'l if it were me, I would go to the police and file an incident report about this person, in case, down the road, he harasses or stalks you, your gf, or, if you two have dependents, that includes pets.
my experience is that reporting their crimes, and nonverbal threatening is considered a crime, keeps the severed relationship accountable, and protects you and your loved ones or, furture loved ones.
especially as you said this person was your Best friend, I assume that they know a lot about you. like most bullies, if you take away their victims, they revolt, and start becoming more violent. (think taking the cheese away from the rat!) so, this bully I assume will follow the predictable path, and try to reach out to you again, and that if they don't get what they want (your compliance) they will then find other ways to try and hurt you. think oj simpson and nichole brown.
keeping a record with the police, but even first, find out from others in your community what the police response to bullying is. call them or stop by and ask them. then, file the report. there is no sense in filing a report if they don't care about bullying.
also, you may want to see if you have a community watch group.
if this bully comes after you physically, what is your community like to help stop the attack??
do you have protection? can you get protection?
these problems may come up anyway, if you and your GF have kids, as today society, child molesters are at an all time high.
so, maybe God did you two a favor but that doesn't mean go thank he bully.
one of my own reponses to bullying was to let it go.
and letting it go, ended up with my losing just about everyone in my life.