Breakups & Divorce Support Group
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I just wanted some feedback on the email I received from my Ex.....I have been planning to have the kids for two weeks and had already agreed on all the detail and I got this email about an hour ago.
Hi S
Just checking in for the weekend.
I forgot that this Saturday I had told the kids we would go up to Lynden to see a batch of puppies at a breeder, friends are going to be adopting one of the puppies and it is a viewing day. I have already told them that sorry, we will have to wait to see the puppy until they bring it home. The reason I let you know is that if you do not have plans set, is it possible for me to take them to see the puppies, and then bring them to you after that? We would be home by about 2 or 3pm. I don't want to spoil any plans you have made, or take away any time you have with the kids, so no worries if they can't see the puppies on Saturday.
Just let me know what the plan is this weekend, when I should have them ready.
Thanks,
Hi S
Just checking in for the weekend.
I forgot that this Saturday I had told the kids we would go up to Lynden to see a batch of puppies at a breeder, friends are going to be adopting one of the puppies and it is a viewing day. I have already told them that sorry, we will have to wait to see the puppy until they bring it home. The reason I let you know is that if you do not have plans set, is it possible for me to take them to see the puppies, and then bring them to you after that? We would be home by about 2 or 3pm. I don't want to spoil any plans you have made, or take away any time you have with the kids, so no worries if they can't see the puppies on Saturday.
Just let me know what the plan is this weekend, when I should have them ready.
Thanks,
It sounds to me like... she's saying if you don't have anything for the kids to do, and they are just going to be sitting around, she found something for them to do, and their time would be better spent occupied.
Yet, she is yielding in the last line to say, she doesn't want to impede on your time with the kids.
I don't get any passive aggressive out of it. I think she's just looking for what the kids would want to do.
If you want to be selfish with your kid time, there isnt anything to feel bad about if you tell her no, and it sounds like she is perfectly ready to hear you say "no".
ps. I have conversations with my exhusband similar to this on a semi-regular basis, he is a planner, I'm the spontaneous one, and these issues arent uncommon for us/
by the way, nice to see you posting again
missed you
hope things are well TML
She's asking your permission to change plan a bit. But if you can't or won't, it's really no big deal.
She is communicating with you in a civil and respectful way, isn't that the goal of all co-parenting divorced couples?
Shifting gears for a second I have missed my friends here at DS......I will be posting again in the next couple of days and give an up date as it closes in on three years of separation/divorce.
S
I'm more of the planner in my coparenting situation, so like Joy said, i also have these convos on a regular basis. Sometimes, our son will get invited to a party I should take him to but it's on his Dad's weekend, so I will ask if I can, etc. More often than not, his dad asks me to switch his weekends around for various reasons.
I would read into it. She is giving you advanced notice and, well, our custody schedules don't always align neatly with real life. :)
Believe me, I KNOW PA!!!
good to see you friend. i hope you are well.