You need someone to understand the hard time you are having. I think people understand but you dont always see it when you hurt. For a while I would pray, "God, just take me home". I am now glad that he didnt. You will be happy again.

I found myself thinking just that today. Isn't if awful? I was thinking that if I were hurt, like in an accident, then that would make my boyfriend come around and show some empathy. How pathethic - willing to be hurt just so that to have someone care. But here's the flip side, what is he doesn't?

if you get hit by a car and break your arm, no its not your fault but you still have a broken arm. Ill be frank with you-you dont want anything bad to happen to you. What you want is the attention and sympathy that comes with something bad happening to you. Your lonely now, probably scared, and would liek for some external validation that people care, which then symbolizes that you matter. Instead of wishing something bad to happen to you- go out and ACTIVELY DO SOME GOOD FOR OTHERS. You'll be surprised at how that makes you fell.

yeah, beta, I know. What if he doesnt?!?! I know the feeling.

I am answering your question and IN NO WAY am meaning any insult or disrespect--just my opinion of your question. Perhaps the reason you might want something bad to happen to you is for the attention you might receive from it...I say this because I have a student in my class this year that is constantly seeking attention any way she can get it...recently she's started "fake" falling, sneezing, getting hurt, and being sick because she sees the attention (especially from her peers) she receives when doing so....

Pretty shitty, right? I just need to realize that someone who truly cares wouldn't be waiting for something like that to happen.

None taken adrienne. I actually KNOW you are RIGHT! And that is what beta is saying...we are looking for the attention of "him", not to be actually hurt.

Even if an accident/bad thing happened and it brought them back to us with attention/love, it only be a temporary fix...prolong the break

Exactly, it is an act of desperation and manipulation. I know it and I am in no way proud of this. I am just glad I have enough sense not to actually do it!

I wish that often. Its probably why im not afraid to go to Iraq next year.

I understand how you feel! I would never do anything to hurt myself, but the thought had crossed my mind that it wouldn't be so bad if I got sick and died of cancer or something!

One time earlier this year when I was really down I had gone for a walk. I was crossing a busy street and some guy pulls into the crosswalk, so I made a remark as I passed in front of him. The guy yells out his car window and cusses at me and I tell him off of course. He says something back and I call him a bitch. He yells back that I should watch out or he might shoot me. I turned around and looked at him, held my arms out and said "here I am, shoot me" I didn't care about my life at the time. I walked away and he turned his car around and drove back to where I was, I looked at him and said the same thing, "here I am" he dove past me turned around and drove up to me again and I just stood there thinking to myself "Go ahead, you would be doing me a favor" He talked more shit and just drove away!

I was in a real bad place in my life back then. It is better now and I'm just taking life one day at a time. It will get better, hang in there!

I sometimes only wish that my stbx experiences the emotional pain that I am going through. I know people can relate.

Even though she left me I still feel like I need to protect her and still try to keep her from feeling pain which often make mine worse.

I've thought it before, yes....many times.


You do this because you are human and you are hurting.

I'm relieved to find out that I am not the only one whom has thought of something like that..not that we want to be hurt...well not me any way, just was wondering a couple of years ago if any of my frinds would care if something would happen, well they don't show any support now and I'm hurting so there!! I wouldn't want anything to happen to me just to get him back...but I'm sure he'd care if it did!!!