Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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julchr 07/23/2011

I was married for 22 yrs, for 19 of them sex was the same, one position, boring at times - 3 yrs at the end od no sex all..

Now that I'm divorced, I've been seeing a few men, and they seem to be into exploring. I'm 47 dating someone 46 and 51, and it blows me away they both have the same thoughts, things my ex never would have thought of, and I never thought of until my divorce.

Is is a mid-life crisis amongst the men, or is it just ignorance on my end?

I'm betting that I'm the problem.

deleted_user 07/23/2011

There is no problem here. I would have to say it is based on each individual person. When you first got together with your ex, that was 22+ years ago. So maybe, that was the norm, or what you both thought a sexual relationship should be. If neither have a problem with how things are, then the need to experiment or seek out another avenue doesn't present itself.

You are out there dating, again. It is way different then it was all those years ago. I know when I "got back out there", how I felt. How people look at sex or intimacy is more laxed. Things have escalated to a different level then 22+ years back. People are more experimental and not so stuck in the old way of doing things.

So a mid-life crisis for men? No. It is based on the individual pers on wants, likes and interest. I am no where need the age of those men you are dating, and I like exploring and changing things up a bit. Matter of fact, I have always been like that.

I think it enhances the relationship and the passion two people can have for one another. I find though, when in an honest, loving real intimate moment, the "same ole same ole" way of doing things is just as satisfying.

deleted_user 07/25/2011

It has nothing to do with age. My STBX hubby and I started dating when we were 16 and are separated at 27. I've always been the wild one regarding sex. We had mostly a pretty boring sex life with me being disappointed most of the time. He has 'values' regarding his wife and sexual acts. Once we were married oral sex pretty much stopped (giving and receiving). But i've found out that with other women he is more sexually adventurous, even looking into swingers clubs.

My opinion is that with a spouse or partner nothing should be taboo. I would never trust riskier behavior (bondage, anal sex, etc) with a casual partner.

julchr 07/26/2011

My ex only had sex 3 times before we were married, and he was 27. While I suggested other things, he thought they were gross.

While he talked a good game with his co-workers, some years we went 6-9 months without anything. It was frustrating.

That's why it floors me, that's they are asking to try new things, and it'sinteresting trying new things. Some I would never try again. Both their wives gave up on sex yrs ago, so they both were surprised I was interested., and we do practice safe sex.

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