I forwarded the letter to her, just to maybe get her to remember that she does love me, and all she replies is; please leave me alone...

WTF?????

Leave her alone. As a woman I can tell you if she wanted *YOU* she would be there. stop what you're doing because she has made it clear that whatever she is looking for she did not find in you.

This does not dimish you. Let her go. You will find someone who's eyes light up when she sees you. Its just not her.

"Leave her alone. As a woman I can tell you if she wanted *YOU* she would be there. stop what you're doing because she has made it clear that whatever she is looking for she did not find in you.

This does not dimish you. Let her go. You will find someone who's eyes light up when she sees you. Its just not her."

NewAgain, thank you for your post. You just encapsulated the situation beautifully -- economy of language combined with eloquence.

Thanks! I needed that.

I'm sorry, I am now more confused then ever... Newagain stated that she doesn't see it in me, when the letter that she has written, and written several times before, states that i am exactly what lights up her eyes. The main question i was more directly getting at, was why say she won't run away from me, then turn around a few weeks later and do just that? She has done this multiple times already when she runs away from the problems and does not face her problems.

Im so sorry for your pain....

Perhaps her words were true an honoring her feelings at that specific time?

She has said and proven that she is a runner. I hate that it hurts you... I know that feeling of being so attached to someone who cant tackle their stuff head on.

But YOU are tackling your work with a fierceness, with courage and strength. And thats all you can do for now.

Dont let her put her issues of fear and communication on you....

Wishing you the best!

I don't know.

Sometimes people say things wishing that they were true.

Really, really messes with the mind and heart though.

hey dude,I feel your pain..in the initial stages of my divorce I related to my ex how she had recently written a deep love letter to me...and she said like "I changed my mind" or something that didnt make much sense then....my take on it ...she ma y have written the letter in an effort to make herself believe something she wanted to believe but knew she really didnt....I know it sucks...and you have ptsd(I feel for you dude) and alot on your plate...it sucks dude...but like the ladies here have said...shed be there if she wanted...I think we all need to get to the point where...what we were initially fighting for is gone...it would be great to have a good old fashioned argument with the spouse but I think at some point you have to start to realize what you had will never be the same...at the very least really start looking forward as an individual..working towards what best for you and your children...the husband/wife thing is secondary now...its sort of fallen by the wayside...it truly sucks..but the next best thing you can do is start worrying mainly about YOU and your kids...you cant be the best dad or person until yoy get YOURSELF better....good luck

Don't feel bad, I was told the same morning that my ex took off, that he loved me and all that garbage. Not even 24 hours later he was in a group gangbang, and not even a week later he was living with another girl (his buddy's sister).

We will never understand or comprehend these cruel and heartless actions. It is hard looking back in my situation, realizing that he was full of garbage and didn't love me one iota. Just be thankful you didn't waste your entire life with someone that only cares about themselves.

Do no contact, as hard as that is. Move on and don't go sucking up to her, putting yourself in the vulnerable position of being used or manipulated for her gain b/c it's obvious she is a b****

Good luck and cyber hugs to you.

Thank you for the support. I do know my wife has always had issues communicating. I will ask that u dont assume she is a b***. Please do not call her rt, either. She still is my wife and I do love her, I know deep inside she is not one and that I hurt her because of my work aholic attitude. I don't consider it a waste of time, though. I learned a lot from her, and still do l, even though we r separated. She has shown me the true me, and I realized that I didn't like the real me. we have had some very good moments that I will never forget. Plus she gave birth to my two handsome boys that I love dearly. The three best things god brought to my life is her and those boys. I couldn't be more thankful to god for that. She is my life, as much as those boys are. If anybody is a b**** here, it would be me(more like a$$hole). I have changed a lot in the past few weeks, because of what I have learned through her. Not for her, but because I wanted to change me. I am disgusted at the things I have done in my past. I hated waking up every morning to be grumpy and pissed all day long. I hated not getting sleep. I hated, most of all, missing out on my family. I regret getting the stupid jobs that I have had, because I missed out on so much of my family, that I start crying thinking about it. I was not there for her, specially lately. And I regret that! Dont judge me or her, just pray. I just had a very emotional day today. I miss her and want her to see the change so badly. I want her to want me back, but for the new me. Not the old.

Thank you "themotivator" for the hard work you are doing FOR YOURSELF and YOUR KIDS. I am very much like your wife...I loved my husband enormously, he was my everything and I sacrificed a lot for his military career....but he broke my heart with his devotion to his career over me and our future family....when I finally realized that he wasn't going to change and I couldn't do it anymore, I only had one life and I deserved to be happy....I left.

Leaving was the most traumatic thing I have ever done in my life...it was tortuous, but it was necessary for my own mental health...I still love my husband, but my heart and mind will not allow me to be that vulnerable again, to decieve myself again, to put my heart in harms way again....when your heart is broken it refuses to risk that pain again...no matter what promises or actions my husband could do, I can not go through that pain again.

I am so thankful to you for taking inventory on your role in the failing of your marriage. She has flaws too but it takes two. It brings me GREAT joy to know that you can and are improving yourself, because it gives me hope that someday my husband will be a better person for his future family. That men can change. I can tell you that if you give her the time and space she needs to heal and forgive, and you continue to be a better person for yourself...One day in the FAR future you will be good friends but you need to do a lot of work and she needs to do a lot of work as well...if you love her, you will give her one last heartfelt and loving affirmation of her actions and her need to do what is best for her...and that you will always be there whenever she is ready for any friendship....Friendship is all that is possible now, but it will not be any time soon and it will not happen if you do not heal yourself from your past and become the person you have always wanted to be, FOR YOURSELF and your Children....Sorry for the long message. Best wishes and many prayers to you!