Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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m.r.78 10/23/2016

I now know what true pain is. I thought I did before, but I had no inkling. My husband of ten years divorced me four months ago. Granted he has bipolar disorder and the mania came to visit every three years or so but we were getting through it together. But this time he wanted out and there was no stopping him. It started after I gave birth to our son two years ago. We had decided not to have children due do his illness but you know, life happens. I was so sleep deprived and going through post-partum that I didnt catch the signs that he going into one of his episodes. Anyways long story short, he became emotionally abusive this time which hadn't happened before. Of course he knows all the right buttons to push so that he can point the finger in my direction as well. Exactly one week after the divorce was finished he said he made a mistake and wants to get back together. I'm so sick of this roller coaster. I just wanted peace in my home. I miss him, love him, and feel so cheated. It's so hard watching him go downhill. He doesn't have a place to live and somehow I feel responsible for him. Every time I think about getting back together I cry because it's not good for me. Our son cries in the middle of the night and has more than the terrible twos because of this. So can anyone please tell me when the pain goes away?

mirandac 10/23/2016

I am so sorry for all your pain and hurt.

Are you going to therapy it will help you a lot
With your issues and also going to divorce Care.
org will help with the grieving and post Divorce
feelings and emotions.

Do whats in yours and your childs best Interest.
Keep reaching out to loving caring supportive
People. HUGS

jojored 10/23/2016

I think the pain starts to lessen after we fully accept our situation, have no more doubts about our decisions, and are at a place where we can take total responsibility for our own lives and are empowered enough to start making healthy choices for ourselves. In your case, I'm guessing you have guilt and remorse relating to your husband's condition. You might be "stuck" in that limbo place, where you're not able to finish that chapter on your marriage and move onto the next. Sounds like you know in your head that getting back with him would not provide you and your son with long term peace, but your heart still misses him and the good times. It's hard to let someone go, especially someone who doesn't have all the emotional resources to fend for themselves properly. But you have to worry about you and your son, not your ex. He has to take care of himself. You've got to do something to get yourself out of limbo. Have you tried therapy? Reading?

radhika 10/23/2016

i got married to person who turned out to be emotional manipulator.it was an arranged marriage. i stayed with him for six years and broke up and ended that marriage. in those six years when i stayed with him i tried to walk out of that relationship several times unable to tolerate him.but again went back several times as i loved him but one day i finally did it ended the relationship. understand one thing as you said he is bipolar and emotionally abusive it is better if you forget him forever. i agree you have feelings for him but remember one thing that what you did was for your good.pain will go away when you stop blaming yourself that you are responsible for his sadness.he was the one who wouldn't understand that you did all that you can to have abetter relationship with him accepted him and loved him in spite of him being a bipolar.. we have limitations. we cant force our mind to suffer forever.the point here is doing the right thing and you did it by ending relationship with him.things get easy when we accept facts.in your case this man is getting worse.there is noway he will act normal.hence you ended relationship.focus on taking care of your child ,also consider if you continue relationship with him how it will effect the mind of your child as his dad is emotionally abusive.

Lexilynn 10/23/2016

Hugs! I hope things get better for you. I'm kind of in the same boat currently, Wanting to get back with somebody that we just ended a few months back. But I know the relationship as it was, was a unhealthy relationship. I cry a lot as well and currently find myself fighting myself not to call him or text him. But here is a positive note, things will turn out the way they suppose to turn out on God's time, if you are meant to be together.

So time will tell if it's really over or both of you will change for the better and eventually get back together. Sometimes the answer is wait, sometimes the answer is no.

This is hard for me to remember (and I do forget a lot of times), as it may be for you as well to remember, but i thought I'd share. And thanks for reminding me, Hugs!

Lexilynn 10/23/2016

Btw, I sent you a friend request : )

m.r.78 10/23/2016

Thank you to everyone that replied. I haven't been to therapy yet. I needed to get a job and move pretty quickly. I didn't know about divorce care.org, so I'll try it out. I know it's a day to day process so I'll be checking in again.

BlindsidedHurt1 10/24/2016

The pain is crushing. All I hear is that time will ease it a little, but don't we all wish we could just speed it up. My heart physically aches for my STBX. He had sent mixed signals last week about how we would try to "fix things" with me. But it's become abundantly clear he has nothing left for me. I get it now - when you act like you can't stand to be in the same room with me, or you text your girlfriend in front of me, or all you think about is her even when your family is in the same room...I get it. The pain increases in trying to accept he no longer loves you. But I guess that's the first step. Accept it. I haven't, yet. But I get it - love has long been lost.
I wish you positive thoughts and virtual hugs. Seems the only thing that's felt good is rolling up in a ball and having a good cry.

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