Go on a date. Not a hook up. A date. Maybe a midday walk. Lunch. Good conversation about what you are interested in. Just be satisfied to smile in who you are. The more you can smile about yourself the more you will be yourself. Before I know it you won’t have room for past bitter thoughts.

Your part of the 401K should have been done through a QUADRO. If that hasn't been done you need to go back to your atty. It's quite an involved process and you might not want to tackle it yourself.

As far as hating your ex.? Time will take care of that. Although it took several years to get over the hate I felt for the ex. He kept playing with our agreement and causing me problems. Once he finally realized it was costing him more to play his stunts on me he stopped, Distance and time has a way of taking care of thoughts or feelings about an ex. Just give yourself more time and everything will work out for you.

A gratitude journal really helped me. At the end of each day, (I forced myself to see the good) and I'd write 5 quick things...even silly stuff and it made me smile. I'd write how good that coffee was, how amazing the sunset that I was able to see when I didn't sleep in, how a text came at just the right time from one of my kids and even wrote how my parents don't get along but they both text me like crazy. CHOOSE to see the good in each day and trust me, he will become a "somewhat" distant memory. Another choice...discover something you're passionate about. I thought I was only passionate about my ex until he decided he didn't want to married anymore. After I cried myself to sleep for months, I decided to get a 3x5 card and write crazy fun stuff on it. As I checked off the list, I decided the one thing I was good at was writing, so I signed up for creative writing classes. I met new people and life started to feel good again. YOU are creative, smart and loved by your children. Get ready to explore who you were meant to be and how you can make the difference in the lives of others! Be strong and be courageous and be adventurous.

Barnabas2017 - I think that's fantastic advice!!!

I think you are in the anger stage of grief. It hit me about a month after my divorce was final, and yours was in January, so maybe the same thing.

Probably the smartest thing I did since splitting from my husband was to join a bunch of Meetup groups geared toward single people. I have had tons of good times, made several friends, and I never think of my ex unless we have to have an inevitable conversation about the kids. I keep busy and I don't spend a lot of time around couples. I mostly find married people to be a bore now.

Best of luck and I hope you get the 401k/QDRO straightened out soon. Do what you need to do to manage your stress level - the final court date may have passed, but some of the stress may remain for a while.

I really feel for you. It has only been a few months for you, so be patient with yourself. It's been 5 months for me, and I still struggle. I, like you, wonder how long it will last. If I could just extract him from my system, I would. Working out physically really helps me, and so does talking it out with friends (as long as they don't hand me the bullshit about "a great relationship is around the corner for you!" That fairy tale is not what I need at this point. I am getting to know myself better, and that is one good thing. This can be a chance to find out what you want in life.