Big hug too u brittnay8 I'm going to share something with u .u are not alone in these feelings... My best friend past 3 yrs ago from cancer as I held her hand ,my dad has terminal cancer now and I worry about my mom if something happens to him their both 71 yrs old. My ex was a huge jerk. Cared about nothing but himself and went off with another woman in the times in life I need him the most. Cry if u need to get it out but reach out ds is a good start in so sorry u are going through all of this but I thought hearing some of my storey u may not feel so alone going through such in a sense. I'm going to try to add u as a friend in hopes u accept ok Big hug hang in their !

Brittany, I know exactly how you are feeling. I can be fine one minute, and then I'm a hysterical mess the next minute and I have no idea what's going to trigger it. And you have been through a lot with losing your parents. I lost my mom 15 years ago and it still hurts. And going through my divorce has made me miss her even more. And you're right about the holidays. I'm dreading them too but we have to try our hardest to be positive. For me, it helps when I talk to people. And as for the crying, just let it out. I've been hearing that the crying helps with the healing process. Dig deep down and find your strength. You will have good days and bad days. That's how it is for me. Just know that you're not alone in the way you're feeling. I hope you start to feel better soon.

Sorry your having a rough go lately. 3 months is pretty raw still..it's gonna take quite a bit longer unfortunately. I'm 8 months out from break up and still struggle some days. I talked to my ex the other night over daughter stuff, been NC over 30 some days and it just came roaring back. After 24 years for me I know 8 months hasn't been long enough yet which is a little frightening. One day at a time is all we can do..hope you feel a little better soon. It does get better.

Thank you all... I've been separated for 3 years, hoping things would get better, but now we r going through divorce. We have to see each other at soccer games, and its hard to sit on the same sideline, but we deal. I'm just overwhelmed with lose. And it is taking over. I'm just praying for the day that I have some peace..

It's been 8 months for me since my ex walked out on me. It has been rough, not gonna lie. It has gotten better BUT those sneaky memories still get in and have a tendency to pull me down. Some days I let them, other days I fight back. It really does take time. This site really has been a life saver for me, I don't know how people cope w/out it, I really don't. Holidays will be a huge struggle for many of us, it gives me comfort knowing you're all out there struggling too (umm, that sounds kind of mean, I hope you know what I meant, lol) We have each other, sounds strange since we don't know each other, but I feel everyone's spirit and it makes me strong! Friends and family mean well, but unless they've been through it, they don't know, but you all do.
Hang in there. As tempting as it to say we want to run away (I say it all of the time) reality is that we can't. That is the chicken way and the easy way out.....my ex did it and broke a lot of hearts by doing that!!!!!We're the grown ups here and so we stay and deal with life, like an adult is supposed to. Hugs~

I understand totally. I hate the days where everything seems fine and you think you've turned a corner and then - WHAM- everything comes crashing in and you don't know how you will go on - could be a thought, a memory or something on TV that triggers it. I so struggle on those days. I try to keep telling myself that these feelings are temporary and they will pass and they eventually do, only to return another day. I'm hoping that time between episodes increases. I'm hoping that this low mood and depression will eventually leave too - can't really hope for anything else - what's the alternative?

You guys are spot on. We are left with a pile of...... And have to move on, while others do it so easy. Glad I have DS to vent. Thank you all....

My reply might help and maybe it won't - but my breakup made me realize how I was living life all out of sync. I say this b/c I was one of those women who only felt like life was complete when I was in a relationship b/c that was all I knew since a young age. I had practically never spent time being single. When my ex cheated, I had to kick him out and he didn't fight for me - I felt the greatest feeling of rejection and adequacy I had ever experienced in my life - I was crushed, sad all the time, etc. Like you I just couldn't see an end to the sadness.

Over time (took about 14 months) - the heaviness and sadness lifted and what surfaced was such a huge sense of independency and clarity that I can honestly say now, as a single woman, I am the happiest I've ever been in my life. Had it not been for that breakup and betrayal and all the crap I went through, I would have never found myself, my strength, my identity. I will forever be thankful for the experience and for all that person put me through. I needed to wake up and see the world for how it really is.

It's also made me a wiser dating. I now date people but without developing a quick sense of closeness which is so unhealthy. We have to learn that not everyone is out there looking for the same thing and if we keep searching for that person to fix us, makes us feel better, take away our pain, makes us feel complete, what we are gonna keep finding is pain and disappointment. No one is meant to make us feel loved, secure and special but ourselves.

So I say to you - hang in there, you don't see the benefit of all this now but you will in time.

Take care.

I agree with Millie. My divorce ended up being the best thing that could've happened to me.

i am sorry that your going thru all this Brittany, i have been going through my divorce about the same amount of time as you.. all i can say is take advantage of the good days and really embrace them.. call friends or family when your having a bad time with things... friend and family have been my greatest help.. but your not alone at all and i think most of us here feel overwhelmed at times.. i just hope that it will make us stronger in the future,