I mean, he basically went on assuming we will get 50-50 even. Is this a lawyer tactic?

Relatives have told me to try to get full custody because of her mental and chemical abuse history, as well as a general lack of morals.

Should I be asking for a ruling that she cannot take my daughter into bars or has to stay clean? I haven't brought that up to my lawyer yet but they are concerns to me.

If you are doing 50/50 then there should have to be a very good reason for that to change. Do you have proof that she is using drugs and doing so around your child? Isn't it already illegal to take a child into a bar? If these are the things she is doing then you should be getting proof of them- other wise it's just hearsay. Get as much proof as you can, it sounds like your verbal agreement just went out the window!

I don't have any proof, I rarely see my stbx really. But she is hanging around her known cokehead friends again. Actually makes me wonder if she wasn't cheating on me with one of them since she once was engaged to him once and appears to be dating him again.

Anyone can apply and try to get sole custody, but it doesn't mean they will actually get it.

Give your lawyer as much ammunition as you can. Clearly your agreement has gone out the window.

This sucks because now I'm going to worry for the next 20-some hours. My daughter means the world to me and I would take her alot more than half the time that I have her now.

Her mom rarely acts like a mom. She doesn't give her attention. She doesn't play with her. She puts my daughter in front of the tv then sits on the cell phone or ipad all night. Or drink with friends she had over... random nights of the week. When we were married I would just go play with my daughter or read to her.

When she's with me we go on bike rides or play or visit my parents (that my wife didn't care for) so that she can get to know her grandparents. We have alot of fun and enjoy each others company.

This week my daughter was with me when my stbx stopped to pack and my daughter didn't talk to her. When my stbx asked for a hug my daughter ran away. Somethings going on, I don't know what. But my daughter is happy with me, and I am happy when she is with me. I am so worried my stbx is trying to end that.

This very well could be some lawyer tactic. Your wife, through her attorney will ask for much more than she expects to get, in order to get what she wants. Making it look like she compromised.

Later on your lawyer will convince you to compromise on something that you want.

And the "dance" goes on. If you think that your attorney is FIGHTING for you, forget it. These attorneys all know eachother, go to the same parties, and belong to the same clubs. Its all a mirage and the only ones who prosper are the attorneys.

You have to fight for what you believe in. If you think she is not doing a good job of parenting, then you owe it to your daughter to fight for her, if you in fact want her more often. Things like drug use and drinking definitely come into play during divorce. I was told by my therapist to not trust my husband, and I'm learning that to be true. Nothing is worth anything until it is on paper. Make sure you get what's fair.

Don't give up on your kid no matter what.

Kids love and need both parents.

Unless there is a serious issue, the dog fight about which parent is the better leads to no good with the kid caught in the middle. If at all possible, my recommendation is to seek resolution through mediation before going the lawyer/court route. Not only is it a whack better for all involved, it is much cheaper. You don't want to be broken and broke,

That's why I wasn't going to sue for full custody. I knew it was rarely granted and that it cost alot, and would lead to alot of hard feelings.

My daughter knows who gives her more attention and she will grow up with me with her every step of the way. And she will know who is really behind her.

Unless her mother changes it won't be her. Sure Mom loves her, but Mom has more important things to do too. Like talking to friends or going to bars.

You also may want to change attorneys if it is going to be a custody battle. I choose one who was well connected because I had a 50/50 we wanted the court to take. I had a pit bull I would have used instead in the other case. It is just hard. If either person gets a serious attorney this stuff all states and it is hard to stop. It might be worthwhile to talk to the stbx and point out how she gets more $ if it isn't a massive ugly custody battle and that out is better for your kid.