Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
So, it's been a tough 3 years. I lost my dad three years ago, lost my 7 year old nephew three months after that, lost my mom in May, along with losing 2 dogs along the way. I have been married for 14 years, together for 16, and have two boys, 11 and 6. Two weeks ago, I found my wife had been contacting an ex boyfriend. Talked to her about it, and she got angry that I thought this was the slightest bit strange.
One week ago, she tells me she wants a separation, likely heading for divorce. She had threatened this before, as she thinks I don't show enough appreciation, and just don't treat her like I should. Said she loves me but is not in love with me. One note of background, she slept with another guy a month after we were married. I was able to forgive her, but the trust was somewhat broken.
She continues to talk and text with this ex. Said they're just friends, but has deleted every single one of his texts for no good reason. Feeling beyond disrespected, and devastated. We are in what she is referring to as a "trial separation", and both going to individual counseling. We are going to try at least one couples therapy session, though she doesn't really want to, just doing it to make me happy. I'm just a wreck at this point, and the arguing has become unbearable. What a mess.
She believes she is in charge and making all the decisions now, be prepared for more lies, to you, family and anyone she thinks might be impartial.
It sounds familiar to me and I reckon someone else is already there. YOU simply antagonise her by asking about stuff and something I remember after asking about someone else is this reply "YOU are pushing me into his arms!"
Don't believe any of the bullshit. You have had nagging feelings and my friend, you were right. Don't expect her to apologize or account for anything as she is in denial and cheat mode.
Any question, however civil is met with snarls and lies, accusations and smoke screens.
Get your finances locked down quick and try and stay sane - as you have decisions to make and she knows you are dazed and open to crazy suggestions. I offered to buy my ex out, but after chatting with her 'friends', she said "If you sell the house in a few years and make a profit, I should half of that!" - I said sell it!!! she lost over £10k because of her greed but I lost everything I had paid for over 30 years - Get professional (not family or friend) advice before agreeing to a damn thing!
I phoned & asked her where she was... that store? But it closed 30mins ago?
So you're driving home now?
Jump in car n sure enough, she was driving from guys house.
Checked joint bank account... strange... two sets of shopping at same stores on several occasions....
It starts to come together...
Don't just limit your expectation of marriage counseling to how you two can work things out, consider how it can help you understand yourself and your relationship better.
She refused counselling but reluctantly saw a priest, who she lied to and kept her emotional affair a secret and he was absolutely the wrong person to involve - only an expert (who will charge loads)
If you can make ANY headway at all, you have to do a lot of listening, but she may only start being nice if she thinks you somehow approve and how happy you must feel for her... it is weird Scit