Stay strong and giver her the space she is asking for. You can't make someone love you and it SUCKS. She might be going through a funk right now. Just stay strong and be the bigger person. The grass isn't greener on the other side. Just start taking care of you and your feelings. Hugs to you and good luck.

I've gotten that line too many times to count man. And it hurt like a dull rusty knife each time. One thing I can tell you is give her space, get control of yourself, don't be her puppy dog. It will just make the pain worse.

Here's the thing. I'm in the same boat, except that she and some guy have established a relationship. She's "visiting" him in Michigan, where he lives. She went up on Wednesday and is coming back to Ohio tomorrow.

People keep saying the grass isn't greener and that this will just be a passing fling. What if it doesn't? I don't want to be a downer, but what if my wife falls in love and thinks this guy is great??

#3 you need to pack her bags and put them on the front lawn RTL you need to keep an eye on her because if she is going out with someone than it is over.

I do not know how you can stand living with your spouse while they are going out possibly with someone else. That is the reason I told my stbx he was going to have to get his own place. Of coarse he told me he wanted a divorce. But anyway I knew I couldn't live in the same house with him and watch him start living the single life before we are even divorced. But we could afford the expense of him getting his own place. Otherwise I'd be going crazy right now. I feel for you guys. I don't know how you are doing it. Sorry I don't have any real advice on how to handle the situation your in.

she didnt seem to wait too long before going out with someone else. my thoughts are she already was doing it without you knowing. and the reason for the I love you but not like that anymore. That usually means they are liking or interested in someone else.

I would change the locks and put her stuff out now before you loose everything as it could get nasty.

Dont be an option in anyones life.

let me add that these plans wore made a couple of months ago. She is with friends that I know and trust. But it doesn't make it any easier

There are reasons someone will say what she did to you. But the general basis is they are wanting to do their own thing and dont not want to be with you in that way anymore. Hard as it is to accept cus all of the past history and your memories tell you something different. Today is a different day and it is what it is.

No one says that if they were thinking about making it work. The only thing I can see to do is to go out with a few of your friends. Don't sit around acting like you are a broken man, even though it hurts like heck. It might just push her farther away.

Either way, you have to preoccupy yourself while she is out there having fun and planning her life without you. Just be prepared... all I can say

My husband said the same thing to me 2 weeks ago except he just said that he was not in love with me. He left for the day and then returned thinking he was gonna sleep on the couch til he found a place to live...I thru his ass out!!! The reason for this is because prior to our marriage he pulled the same shit and I let him stay with me and sleep in the same bed...it was killing me because he was out almost every night til 2 in the morning while I was home with my kids, with pain, hurt and confusion...so there was not way he was gonna do that to me again....if he wants to move on with his life, then he needs me to heal and move on with him out of the picture....I can't really tell you what to do, but just share my experience,...good luck!

Man Im sorry, I (like a few others here) got the same speech (its a crock) and know how it feels. I didnt have a clue it was coming and I was totally shattered (13yrs married)
In my case she initally moved to her parents but came back to our house everyday to work.
When she left she took virtually nothing, i'd wake up and go into the bathroom to be confronted with perfume bottles and makeup, hairbands on the counter etc etc...It ended up being just too hard and was really doing my head in.
It was so incredibly difficult because I love her (she is/was the light of my life) but I had to draw a line and ask her to move out.
It at least gives you the opportunity to start to heal and process your grief & loss.
Sorry to say this but the harsh reality is that the odds are stacked against you guys getting back together, she is cool and cruisy because she made this decision months before she told you and is streets ahead in the recovery process. Dont beat yourself up, you cant make her love you and you cant change the way a person feels to suit yourself.
Truth be know she has probably been with another guy for a while (ouch I know, there is always more to "the speech".
Be prepared for a tough time, sleeplessness, losing weight, despair...you will experience all this and more.
Im 4 months down the track and can tell you it does get better...slowly.
Get her out so you can have some space and get your head sorted, go to a councilor, hangout with your friends.
Cry..(i was reading a poem some wrote here last night and ended up in tears again) but dont give up on yourself. You are not alone.

Got the speech and she more or less lives with the guy she met 3 months ago.

If she is dating for the first time just after 2 weeks, she withdrew from you long ago and I wouldnt be surprised if she has been out with other men before.

My doctor asked me the one day when I went to get my meds, he asked about my kids and how I was feeling ect about the break, and he asked if there was a chance of getting back together, I said I dont know, he asked if there was another man and I said yes. He said sorry, but its over.

I would suggest you let her have her space, dont weep or cry to her, show her you can move on without her, be strong. Trust mne I didnt and it did push her farther away.

As for the grass isnt always greener comment, it is a true statement but alot of times they dont realize it till it is too late to fix the marriage anyway. you have moved on, or you fight threw the process or whatever. But if your wifes are dating, I would be prepared for a divorce, and if you want to make it work, hope for the best but dont count on it.

Well I dont think that there is another man. But the grass is not always greener on the other side. It is greener where you water it

With hurtinghub. I got the same speech, and one month later not one, but two affairs came to light. If she does not love you that way, she is loving someone else that way. You can't change someone else, you can only change yourself! She is in a cloud with her romance, addicted, and you will lose. She will only drag you through the crap and toss you like used toilet paper, as my STBX did with me and my two young boys. I am in my fourth month, weight is coming back, concentration, and a drive to fulfill my dreams without her! Sorry for the reality, but I wish someone would have told me. Keep the faith and prepare yourself. Guard your finances, as I thought I had done, but they still squeek some financial pain in there.

I am sooo sorry and I know hearing everyone say that she is with or has been with someone else is hard and maybe you don't even think it is true but it is. people told me that about my stbx it was weird, like everyone knew but me. I did not want to believe, but it did turn out to be true. took me sooo many months to know it though cause of those words he told me too. they don't say they are not in love with you anymore unless they have something or someone. even if you feel it you don't say it until you really mean it. I am sooo sorry for what you are going through. It will be a rough ride but thats what we are all here for!!!! best of luck to you.

That speech sucks. I am really sorry for you.

Wanting to go out just two weeks after it does not mean that she is having an affair. However, it means taht she has been thinking about this for a long time.

Maybe it would be helpful seeing yourself really succeeding independently of her. Then, if she moves on, you will be able to also. However, if she stays, you will be that much more healthy.

You can do it, look at all the people who have.