All I want is him to tell me it's over! In stead he just ignores me!

Granted he got sick! Granted he is going through a rough patch in his life, but he has never shut me out like this!

While my boyfriend was hospitalized and in the hospital he was 1000 miles away. I had not way to contact him or know anything at all.

I didn't know anything for five days until he finally called me and after I texted him twice a day and called him once a day. I didn't care who answered the phone just wanted to know if he was dead or alive.

During this whole time my best friend who has always been there for me was in a tragic accident. He finally passed away today! I didn't want to burdon my boyfriend with this news but felt it was necessary so he new where I was coming from. 

Not only was I sick with worry about him, I was also sick with worry over my best friend. So needless to say I wasn't think rationally. I accidently sent him an email confessing all of my concerns. Lack of sleep makes you do some pretty crazy things! So does greif. I didn't tell him about my friend because I hold out hope he was going to pull through!

I didn't know what had happened to my boyfriend. One minute he was fine the next minute he wasn't. Just like my friend. 

I told my boyfriend that I feared and that through his illness he turned to those who were near him for support. Mostly his ex wife. They are still pretty good friends, I also told him I thought he was dead too! This was sent before he reached out to me to tell him he was alive and home recovering. His relationship with his ex never bothered me until he got sick not sure why it is bothering me now.

He asked for time and I want to give it to him. I have only sent up lifting happy text. Offering to tell him about my awesome day at work! Something he always enjoyed hearing! Keeping everything uplifting. But when my friend died the only person I wanted to talk to was him. I wanted to hear his positive outlook. I know he was sick and recovering but all I needed at that moment was someone to say" it's going to be ok sweatie!" Instead I got nothing!

What hurts the most isn't that he didn't respond to me all day but the fact that I see he is active on social media but can't answer a call from me! What the heck!

Just wanted two minutes of his time! I'm just so not use to be this behavior from him. If things are over why doesn't he just tell me! He promissed me in the very beginning (he brought it up) that if it wasn't working we would straight up with each other...