Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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onedayatatimeforme 03/25/2017

In my healing process I have found many things, such as not to engage with my stbx and if I do to keep it short and sweet , stand my ground, stay on my path and remember the good when the bad hits hard. Today I asked myself why am I the one dealing with everything and the hurt and regret when stbx is given a cake a on silver platter and deals with very little to nothing, why can't he have a bad day and days and pain that will teach him a lesson. Well my thought is god puts us (the strong ones) in situations that to us see almost impossible to deal with and as it does not seem fair yet god knows we can do this and we are stronger which is why he has allowed this to happen. In my situation I had signs and I should have paid attention to them and if I did it would have saved me alot of heartach and regret but I refused to see the hints so at my own fault now I am dealing with it but god knows I can and will get through this, there is a brighter future for me and if I just follow what god wants my future to be then I will soon see the rainbow at the end. I do not expect everyone here to belive in god but there is a reason we are going though this more so than our partner , I will be the first to say I do not like it please choose someone else like stbx but what makes us weak will make us stronger and we have to dig deep deep down inside ourself's to find that and remember that. Sometimes when I wake in the morning I say to myself I will not allow stbx to effect my day and that is my daily goal. At times it does effect my day and I come here or talk with a friend but I get through it as I know you can too. Stay strong, stay focused and stay firm with your two feet on the ground walking forward and not backwards as when we are driving we look forward to get to where we need to be and we only look in our rear view mirror for saftey reasons but we still drive forward. Hugs to all

jojored 03/25/2017

Love it - "we only look in our rear view mirror for safety reasons but we still drive forward".

LostAndRejected 03/26/2017

Yeah, it's hard having an ex seem to be care free flaunting their new relationship in front of you though. I get a little comfort knowing that she's going to stay a train wreck in the long run but it's hard to keep sight of that when you're a broken husk of a person with days involving crying, screaming, and praying and they're out there living it up.

My kids have the opposite reaction to being angry though. The new guy is taking them out to dinner and fun places all the time, he's buying them toys and they've got a new live in friend in the guy's kid.

I'm making my priority getting better and being there for them. In the long run it'll be better for both but it's really hard competing with Disneyland dad who comes with a new friend their age.

Staystrong207 03/27/2017

OMG! Your post is inspiring. "we only look in our rear view mirror for safety reasons, but we still by forward". You have no idea how much that small phrase impacted how I feel. I will think of it everyday and use it as a tool to stay strong and move forward.

I need that saying on a poster so I can frame it and hang it on my wall.

We all have to remind ourselves that we are strong and we will get through all that we are going through.

onedayatatimeforme 03/29/2017

Thank you all for your replies, we all have different situations but we deal with the same pain and regret . As it takes a special person to become a parent to a child with special needs I believe that person was chosen for special reasons . The some what of the same with break up/divorce when we think we are weak we start to break down and then we start to go backwards and at times even giving in because giving in is easier than learning to be strong . You and I and others are strong men and women and we can and will get through this perhaps not as quicker as we want but we will. Keep you head high, your feet planted to the ground and stand tall and proud because you have nothing to be ashamed of , we can only go up from here after all you cant fall further when you already on the floor , we have been as deep as it goes so from here it is all up . Hugs to all

mazie69 03/29/2017

Hi, I like your initial thought of the day, not letting the ex get to you, I am going to focus on that each morning. We are separated and for awhile it was several texts every day, it had slowed way down and now mostly about financial stuff. But I still get very anxious when his number pops up on my phone! Then I remind myself that is all of him that I need to deal with anymore, which to me is a peaceful thing. And I agree, one spouse ends up taking on way more while the other just seems to run around and play. I don't mind it since I was the one doing it the whole marriage anyway! You can message me anytime if you'd like,.

onedayatatimeforme 03/29/2017

Hi Mazie69 oh I know just what you are going through, my stbx has been calling my work and stopped bu the house last night to only send me a e mail calling the kids and I chickenshi* that we would not answer the door, Um I was in the shower and had no idea and our younger son heard his father yelling his name to answer the door but when you hear someone yelling like that there is no way your going to answer the door, I did tell my attorney and she sent another letter and e mail to stbx attorney informing him to inform his client to stop calling me at work as it is effecting my job and to stay away from the house so what does stbx do, he calls me at work again today but lucky for me I did not answer. Stay strong I know all about feeling anxious but you have a good point at least I only have to deal with him on the phone or e mail. Hugs

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