I have two adult children and I have an iPhone. With the iPhone you can block a person from texting, calling and facetiming you without their knowledge.

With the text, they just never get a response which is essentially what you did anyway.

With the phone-they are given the option to leave a "brief message". That message will get stored in your voicemail which you can access but your phone won't ring.

Face time-there is definitely no reason to ever face time with someone you're not married to or at least friends with, so who cares about that.

The only avenue I've left open is email. I have been subject to "Happy Birthday" texts and "Pocket dials". I even got a face time call from his iPad and I don't believe that would ever fit in his pocket so I don't know what the deal is there. Nor do I care.

If there is a real emergency, I presume the proper authorities would know how to reach me and in a pinch he can leave a voicemail so I feel pretty confident blocking him from most avenues. I know your daughter is younger but I think you could apply the same to your ex.

My ex cheated, although I was the one who technically left but I don't know the answer to your question other than I think cheaters like to keep us around for those "just in case moments" in life and they like to throw a little contact out there to see if we'll continually fall for their shit. Just my opinion but it seems to be common.

Good luck.

http://lemaym1.wordpress.com/

"My ex cheated, although I was the one who technically left but I don't know the answer to your question other than I think cheaters like to keep us around for those "just in case moments" in life and they like to throw a little contact out there to see if we'll continually fall for their shit. Just my opinion but it seems to be common."
HAHA Just what I was thinking. Ive read quite a bit in these 9 months about these mindless texts and several months ago I wouldve been crawling the walls trying to compose some response, but now its just annoying. And she cheated before she pulled the trigger, of course she denied it but im not stupid.

I think they do it so they can feel like they're still good people. After all, how bad can they be if they're trying to engage us in civil discourse? Clearly we should ignore their bad behavior and the emotional devastation we feel when they contact us so that they can feel good about themselves. It is all about them after all.

Exactly Missy. I have made it perfectly clear friendship is out of the question. Just lame how their brain works. Plus im going to be far to busy tonight to be watching TV as my daughter and I will be busy preparing for tomorrow while she lives her new stupid life without the kids since they refuse to see her tomorrow, and they are old enough to make that decision on their own. I just deleted the text, no way am I responding and get hung up on that crap again. Lesson learned lol.
Hope you are doing ok :)

My ex had the balls to invite me to Thanksgiving this year. Not sure what part of no friendship he didn't get. Of course, now his entire family has cut contact with me but honestly after 4 yrs of us going back and forth and when we had contact, they talked to me and when we didn't I didn't exist for the family who I was a part of for 24 yrs.

As my daughter so bluntly told me recently, I was nothing but a fallback girl. No more. My ex and his entire family are now out of my life forever.

They like to play fuxx fuxx. Some people can only feel good if they think they have the upper hand and that someone is at their call.

I broke up with my ex for cheating practically in my face after long discussions that if that were desired by either party?, that we'de simply be honest and say hey, I'm gonna need to see other people now so this is open if we stay together. I was so pissed and missed him. He asked if we could talk it through and I ignored him for 3 wks. He finally contacted me again and we had our last conversation 3 months ago and have since blocked his number though before our last conversation, he sent two texts saying he missed me, that did make me feel like maybe he was ready to be exclusive and was sorry. I foolishly agreed to talk to him only to get a cold drunk aloof ex acting like Don Juan and he kept saying that it is ...what it is....... All like he's this Mr. Macho G-d's gift to Women. They do it to hurt us in hopes of feeling superior. Just block him or her and if its important a voice msg will be in blocked msgs. At least you won't be subject to the energy that can stem from those stupid text.

I don't know which is worse, being in your situation or in my case, being the one dumped and getting NO contact from my ex. It makes me feel like I wasn't even married to him nor part of his life. It's like he was done, so he left....no looking back, no regrets. Rejection hurts, all of our situations suck, it's as simple as that. I thought I was handling this ok, but the holidays are throwing me a curve ball. I hope you have a happy thanksgiving with your kids, thank goodness for them, huh? They keep us grounded and focused of what matters.

The holidays are throwing me for a loop, too. I can only speak as a woman..but if I sent chit chatty texts it would be because I missed the person. I'm so confused as to why she is doing this to you... but it doesn't even matter. She can't have her cake and eat it too. She made a choice..now she has to live with it. If you made it clear -no friendship- then she needs to just stop that mind screw.Just block her. Your daughter is old enough to have her own relationship with her mom without you in the middle.

ok lots of stuff I could say about this, but first off, every situation is different...But my experience (I've been divorced 4 years, and had a few bfs since that time), every ex that did this to me, did so, for two reasons, 1.) they were too lazy to find someone else (until they found someone new) 2.) they hate to be lonely (which kinda goes back to #1).

Sure some may continue to be friends with you, because the feel guilty, but, my experience, no, it usually because they want something from you (sex, money, whatever)...

It is near Thanksgiving. Maybe memories persuade her it isn't really over until the fat lady sings? :-). I don't know why other people do it but I have contacted an ex to simply get closure on some things. Perhaps you gave her an opening when you told her no contact if she just "wants friendship" and she takes it. I would just let her know her talking about your memories of you two together is not helping you and she needs to stop doing it. I just mean to be clear about it because she may have the idea that you two can reconcile in the future and you gave her an opening. Clear boundaries are important because you get hurt less this way.

When my stbx and I separated it was a guarantee he would text me every 3 days. He missed me, I know he did. But yet he wouldn't apologize for what he did to me and our family. I would text him back - but only yes/no answers. Then he would text me at 1:00 in the morning to talk. He was drunk. He would text me and ask me to send him pics of myself. He got weird. He would text me and ask me if I changed his password on his Hotmail account... Anyway, I think he was doing all of this because he was (missing me) and he was feeling guilty for breaking our family up. I think the guilt was setting in. What a nimrod.

What a nimrod hahahah that's classic :)

i think it depends on the Ex of course. but in her case, i think it's probably to see if she can get a response from you. i think sometimes those who have elaborately lied and hidden things long term think they can maybe still pull the wool back over our eyes, especially if they are feeling lonely and/or down on themselves. like maybe they want the boost of knowing they can get you to break your stance and talk to them. ridiculous.

PPL do what they do for reasons they only know that do not matter to us. The only thing that matters to you is what YOU can control.

If you are done with her and you made it clear that you do not wish to be just friends - stick to that and whenever she reaches out, remind her. She'll get it eventually.

But also make sure that what you aren't saying is "I want my ex back but because she won't agree to being a couple (you said you don't want to be just friends) - I am mad when she reaches to me - If she was reaching out to me to talk romance, I might not be as mad, I am mad because I am not getting what I want.

So, just make sure you are clear on the reaction her actions are causing you - and then, since obviously she doesn't want to be with you - be firm and let her know - do not contact me unless it's about our kid.

Often times people keep doing certain things because we send mix signals. Be sure you aren't doing that.