Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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nix192 07/02/2010

I was dumped about 2 months ago now and im finding this harder than when i seperated from my husband after 21 years.The guy that dumped me after 4 months decided he still had feelings for his ex but had spent our whole time together telling me how much he loved me,i was his soulmate and how much he wished hed met me years ago.I think perhaps im finding this so hard because for the whole time we were together we never argued once and he seemed so in love with me but with my ex husband things had been going wrong for ages and all we did was row.
Also even though i realise now we were not meant to be and there is so many things we wernt compatible with i miss him so much.I keep asking myself why did he do this to me just as i was healed from a hard seperation?Am i going to get through this?

deleted_user 07/02/2010

It sounds like neither of you were really ready for a new relationship. Maybe your wounds from the divorce just compounded onto the new relationship. Step back for a while and see where you're really at here, and if you are ready again.

Misred 07/02/2010

You were probably his rebound hun. And were in that honeymoon faze new relationships go through. If he was telling you that you are is soulmate that early in the relationship I think I would be more concerned. As far as him still having feelings for his EX, that's probably true. Everyone does and if they still have contact with one another chances are it has not had time to mellow. I think you should protect yourself and place some boundaries up. Most likely he was grooming you in case the EX didn't open her door back up to him. If she gets pissed he will be knocking on your door again. (((HUGS)))

Dave17 07/02/2010

I have to agree with the others.
Work on yourself. Get over the marriage first, then bring someone else in.
It can be really scary to be alone, but I think it gets easier with time.
It's better to be alone then to be with someone for the wrong reasons that undermine your recovery process. You can be happier when this is all settled and you can move on.

deleted_user 07/02/2010

I've heard people say that the first breakup after a divorce is often harder...will you get through this....of course you will, but with time, tears, and heartache. If he is not ready or willing to be with you, then there's not much you can do unfortunately.
(((((nix)))))

deleted_user 07/02/2010

Also... It sounds like he was saying what he needed to say to get his hooks in, and get his needs met.

You need to let go quick. He smells of a snake oil salesman.

You weren't just his rebound... you were his security blanket while he was figuring out what "he" wanted.

deleted_user 07/02/2010

What you are feeling is normal and from what I've heard, the relationship you have after your marriage is over is something that is difficult to get over.

As for getting through this, of course you will get through it. Hang with us here and we'll help you.

Remember to take good care of yourself.

patti22 07/02/2010

Hugs;

I think it's harder because the differences haven't had time to develop into any really bad problems, and for you, it sounds like you were still in that 'the universe is open, anything's possible phase'.

More hugs. IDK if you were his rebound or not, but it really doesn't matter at this point.

On the plus side, from what I've heard, although it hurts worse, it doesn't necessarily take longer to get over it. If you still have unfinished work from your marriage, that will likely be triggered though.....which is painful, but not necessarily a bad thing.

And sorry.

nix192 07/02/2010

thanks for all the replies.I now understand i was just someone he used to try and help him get over his ex and when it didnt happen i was dropped by him.Funny thing is i dont blame him for what happend he cant help the way he feels but it was just such a shame it had to happen just as im over my husband and perhaps thats why im finding this so tough to deal with.

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