Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
If anyone has read my story you'll know my wife of 20+ years left new years eve and was found 2 days later with another man.
At first I was devastated but as time has gone on I have been feeling much better but recently she has been texting me asking for little things. I have decided to ignored them because I want no contact. She is a drunk who blamed me for everything.
But what's up with the texts? She doent love me (her words not mine) so why keep doing it?
Today's was a treat. It simply said "your a dick". I assume this is because of yesterdays text that I ignored in which she asked "what, you can't respond?"
Problem is every time she texts I feel a rush of emotion I don't want. I want to block her but we have a daughter together and would be afraid something might happen involving our daughter while they're together and she really does need to reach me.
What a nightmare!
At first I was devastated but as time has gone on I have been feeling much better but recently she has been texting me asking for little things. I have decided to ignored them because I want no contact. She is a drunk who blamed me for everything.
But what's up with the texts? She doent love me (her words not mine) so why keep doing it?
Today's was a treat. It simply said "your a dick". I assume this is because of yesterdays text that I ignored in which she asked "what, you can't respond?"
Problem is every time she texts I feel a rush of emotion I don't want. I want to block her but we have a daughter together and would be afraid something might happen involving our daughter while they're together and she really does need to reach me.
What a nightmare!
Going No Contact is the only thing that will help with the rush of emotion you get.
Here's what I would do. Save all of her texts. Show them to your attorney. And ask the attorney how these can be used in your divorce. I would also ask the attorney about how this behavior could affect her ability to get custody. My biggest concern is for your daughter since your stbx is a drunk. That not only puts your child in danger every day (her driving drunk & making other stupid decisions that may put your child in danger), but it also puts your child in an abusive toxic environment. So I would document as much of her dysfunction as you can.
I would also continue to disengage w/her except for when it comes to your child. Keep all that in the form of texts or email.
~healing hugs~
Going No Contact is the only thing that will help with the rush of emotion you get. Since you cannot do that:
How old is your daughter? I ask because my wife left me after 24 years and our daughter was 17...this was 2 years ago. I used to get texts and whatnot and played that game far too long. The reality is:
1. She's still with her cheater partner.
2. There never was an emergency I needed to keep texting option open with her. Texting is fairly new in the grand scheme of things. Let her call and leave a voicemail if it's a real emergency. Textings too easy, especially when drunk.
I would tell her you're blocking her texts and to call in case of emergency only, otherwise go through lawyers. I wasted far too much time communicating with that dumb broad, and now since I've cut her off I feel great. I recommend doing the same.
As for the divorce I'm having one of the smoothest easiest divorces you might ever hear about. She does not have an attorney and has already signed a marriage settlement agreement giving everything to me in exchange for $1000 ( yup, that is one thousand). I get the house, property, 401k, savings account and bonds, furnishings and appliances. She gets her clothes and trinkits.
Divorce should be final by mid may.
She also gave up her family as they love me and no longer want her around. I've been invited to easter dinner at their house, she is not invited.
So sad because she has fallen so far. I've promised her family that if she comes to me for help getting sober I would pay and support her 100%. Best I can do for now.
Sort of got off topic there. My sister who thankfully is a therapist thinks she may be trying to keep me close just in case she wakes up and realizes she made a huge mistake. I don't know, maybe.
As soon as the divorce is final, you can go Total No Contact by blocking her from your phone, email & social media.