I could say the same about my ex. She went after me for money that I didn't have, despite having every financial record and my budget sitting right before her eyes. Thankfully the judge didn't let her starve us.

I've wondered the same thing, although I don't think it's a "man" issue. I think it's a maturity issue. My STBX is the same way, but that's because he's self-centered and greedy. No amount of money will ever be enough for him. He hoards houses and furniture and money, and doesn't provide for his son's support in a timely fashion. It's always been about him, and probably always will be. Let your attorney advocate for you. That's what you're paying them for. Get your money's worth!

i dont think its a "man" thing either but from what ive seen in Divorces....when the male is paying more and more to a spouse they no longer want to support and no longer get to spend as much time with kids even after paying ....there really doesnt seem to be an upside to them and some do turn into immature people when they allow those emotions to take away from the goal of bringing up healthy children.

You're right..its not a "man issue"..I feel bad for saying that..I am just so frustrated. He knows full well he stole all our money right before he left,now he is trying to hide sources of his income,asking for half of this yrs income tax,trying to reduce child support pmts..I get $6 a day per child..not even enough for 1 meal for them..Usually men take pride in supporting a family while women tend to nurture..yes,I know it can be different depending on the person,but in general I think its accurate. I guess is just discovering how little our family meant..I thought it was just me he hated..and I can handle that. But when your children are the target,well I get a bit protective..but tomorrow is a new day..moving forward:)

You have to accept that he doesn't see things the same way as you do. He only sees that he upsets you...doesn't focus on the fact that the kids are being affected. The best thing you can do for yourself is to stop worrying about it and letting it hurt you.

My ex stole tons of money too...hid assets, lied about finances, stole our son's dirtbike, and wants me to pay him for our daughters piano (her 13th birthday present). He hasn't paid cs since mid-april and wants our high school senior considered emancipated right now so he doesn't have to pay cs anymore...not that he has been paying it anyway. He chose to have no contact with the kids despite being given standard visitation.

I am not sure it's a maturity thing as much as being selfish and self-centered.

Oh and just because you aren't worrying about it doesn't mean that you let him get away with it.

lipstickp..great advice..thanks..I need a sane voice every now and then

My ex behaved similarly. He talked all about being amicable when we first separated, then turned around, came in the house and took all the bank books, checkbook, and savings bonds. Then he stopped paying bills for six months and stuck me with everything.

That's when I got mad and took the leash off my attorney. She went after him like a pit bull going after a t-bone steak~lol. All she had to do was call his attorney and say, "I'm filing contempt" and his attorney brought him right back in line.

My ex also tried to plead "poor me" to the judge, but he had no evidence. I had all the evidence--check stubs, a budget, receipts, etc. He then had to pay me almost $800 a month spousal support until the divorce was final. He was pissed. He had the nerve to demand that I send back the support check that came after the final hearing. I basically told him to drop dead, that I paid bills with it and could prove it.

Sadly, these types are just selfish and self-centered. They think the world revolves around them and that they can just dump a loyal spouse and then rape that spouse financially. That's what my ex thought, until my attorney and I gave him a real lesson in finance. I am happy with my settlement but I had to take the gloves off and come out swinging. You do too.

Sending hugs!