This situation sounds like the one I am in right now. I am on the other end however. I broke up with my long term boyfriend in October and he started seeing someone in November to try and make me jealous and get me back. He was just using her, and that is so wrong. He was messaging me and and still wanting to see me while being with her in the meantime! He obviously wasn't ready for a relationship, but used her to hurt me and try to make himself feel better. He would tell me things like how she is weird and that hes not even sure if he likes her. He also told me he would break down crying thinking about me and that he had called her my name more than once! (I hope this is helpful not hurtful). It made me realize how pathetic he was, and what kind of person starts seeing someone when they aren't over their ex.. the kind of person we don't need in our lives!! I know that I am not in your position or do I know your full situation, but remember that you are not alone :)

We do not need people like this in our lives. He probably wasn't showing you the real him and that's why other people could see through it and you weren't able to. When you are attracted to someone and first meet them you are easily able to overlook their flaws. I understand that you feel used, no one deserves to be treated the way that you were! I'm sure that you can do much better, and you will find someone that treats you with respect! My advice is to cut all ties with this guy. He doesn't respect you now and that's not going to change. I know its hard now, but have faith you will meet someone that will treat you right! Just be thankful that you were able to see this early on and didn't get too involved with him. You sound like smart person and i am sure you will get over him with time. Keep yourself busy and take care of yourself, it will get better!

Thank you. The feeling is just so painful. I feel rejected and sad and want to know why, why did this happen, how someone can do that and not even apologize. I just want the pain and sadness to go away. :'(

I know exactly how you feel. It is tough when you invest so much of yourself and they do not return the favor. It stings. But know that you deserve someone who loves you completely. Someone who gives as much as you give. You deserve it! It is your right and do not let anyone take that from you. One day you will find someone who loves you 100%. I promise you. And this guy will be but a faint memory. Hang in there. Be strong. Be brave. You are beautiful. With time the pain will fade and everything will be alright.

it hurts because you are a man with a heart, really can't be a man without one

Thank you! I can't wait for this to be behind me.

Is it normal to constantly wonder is he thinking about me or misses me or if he regrets what he did? Even though I doubt it I still wonder which is ludicrous because it shouldn't matter.

I was in a situation similar to this and it is a painful one. I really do think it is the downside of being such a sweet, loving, and giving person. Unfortunately, there are leeches who suck people like that dry. But you wouldn't want to be any other way, right? If you weren't that sweet, loving, giving person, you would be just like him. A person who only cares about people for what they can do for them, and inflicts pain on others.

Of COURSE it is normal to think about him and how he feels. You obviously cared about him at one point, and a normal person can't just stop caring for someone overnight. And anyway, I think we look to those "what ifs" because if the answers were YES he cares about you, YES he regrets it, and YES he misses you than your pain would go away. What I say to myself about it is this. "Yes, he may still care about me. It is probable that he misses me. Maybe part of him does regret his decision....but my phone is not ringing and he is not on my doorstep so if he is feeling any of those things, he doesn't feel them nearly enough." Don't accept scraps of love and attention anymore! They just leave you hungry for more. Heal yourself and then someone who is ready to give you what you deserve will come around.

Thank you NY Dreams! You really made me see it in a different way. I know it will take time and the sad thing is even though he did what he did I don't hate him or anything like that and even if I was given the opportunity to do to him what he did to me just to get back at him, I never could. I never want anyone feel like I do. :(

my first post on this matter, hopefully I can add some insight or help someone out....but I'm going through absolute misery right now....this is pain like I have never felt before...I'm male, 52yrs old, lost the love of my life, just shy of three years, we had big plans and it's a long complicated story....I'm smart enough to know I'll be better one day....but until then, this is torture....she broke it off and the reasons are flimsy and weak....I feel like a piece of paper, balled up and thrown away...and it is a mystery how there can be such love, then nothing like flipping off a switch, and I'm left with a gaping hole in my heart....I gotta know if she is dancing in delight these days or having sadness herself...