Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Everytime my ex comes over, he checks my mobile phone to see who I've been calling or messaging, and he checks my computer to see the history on it, where I've been, what I've been looking up. Then he gets the shits with me. Yesterday he came over and he saw I had been on lavalife. A friend of mine told me to join as she said the party room was lots of fun and would give me a laugh. I was a bit iffy about joining it as it is a dating site and I'm not looking to date, but I do like to make friends and I love to talk to people. I'm on my own with 7 kids 10yrs and under and sometimes talking with some one on the net just saves me from insanity lol. My ex is an alcoholic and he tells me he's trying to stop drinking but also tells me that my actions make it impossible for him to stop drinking. He tried AA (only once) but thought the people were beneath him and stopped seeing his Dr because he thought the Dr couldnt help him. What am I supposed to do, sit on my arse and see IF he gets better. I don't think he will change at all. He takes the kids 2 or 3 at a time as he can't handle the noise and gets frustrated with them and blames the kids on him drinking with the noise and the mess while he was here. Some people think I should get a restraining order on him so he doesn't go through my stuff, but I think that will only make him more angry and make him worse and no doubt the kids will be the ones to suffer. He makes me feel guilty about trying to have some sort of a life. He has been on dating sites while we were married, he likes to look at the ones who show their bits on their cams and even do it live on the net ewwwww! So I think what I do is tame compared to what he has done and I don't understand the difference but he says there is a big difference because I make contact with people. For goodness sake they are in different states and I only talk on the net to them. I think it's interesting to meet new people, male or female, I'm not dead after all. One friend of mine said that by me letting my ex control me this way I am indeed lost and it's no life. I have no idea what he meant and he wouldn't clarify it saying I needed to figure it out on my own. Anyone been here and how did you deal with it?
deleted_user
If you are divorced or seperated he has no business in your stuff. Now my stbx was having an affair and I made him give me all the passwords he had changed and checked the phone. But that was to gain my trust back, (not this time, this was last time). He is completely in the wrong. Change your password to the comp. and cel. Trust me my stbx did it this time and it is hard to crack.
deleted_user
tell him to keep his hands of your stuff, it is absolutely none of his business, just like it is none of my business what my stbx is doing. calling, surfing, etc, tell him to leave it the eff alone, and blaming you for his drinking, what a crock.
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