Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I just been in a recent break up and I have such a giving heart . I been with this guy for a year on and off. He had cheated on me, lied to me, had sex with others behind my back but I still manage to take him back. He broke up with me to be able to smoke weed and talk to other people and yet I still hurt. I know he isn't good for me but I developed strong feelings for him as stuipid as It sounds. So why do we fall in love with the wrong person ? Why can't we stop loving the ones who hurt us the most? Why are we still Able to forgive that certain person? I want to hate him I don't want to care about him anymore I don't want to be worried about him but yet I still do and it feels like I always will because he took my virginty he's my longest relationship and my first love will any of this ever get easier ... Can someday he'll just be a memory and I'll be Able to move on with someone who truly loves me the same way .. And thoughts ?
We take certain people and we put them in a place of our heart that they shouldn't be. I did this for many many years with my soon to be former wife. Like you mentioned, I could have taken her back no matter what. The problem here was two fold, I didn't have MYSELF in the right place in my heart, and I didn't have God in the right place either.
When I was able to start seeing that, I was able still to love her while letting go.
Hope this helps.
Cheers
Read The Four Agreements by Miguel Ruiz - he explains it here. This guy treated you in this way and a part of you agreed with him.
Work on that before getting involved with the next one.
You will never be in a healthy, happy relationship if you don't love yourself first!
It will not always be like this, even thought if feels this way right now. It will pass, and, you can help yourself by taking small active measures to focus solely on yourself -- what you love to do.
Yes, he will one day become a distant memory that won't elicit the intense feelings of which you deal with now. And, yes, you will move on once you learn to love yourself and be whole without someone else.
This will come in time and with maturity. You are in a painful learning experience. And, again, this sorrow and angst will pass.