Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Why would the person that ended the relationship, still try to find feelings for you and try to make it work? She has come back to me a few times in the last four years and has tried to find the love she had for me originally, but each time, after about a month or so, she realizes its still not there for her, and she leaves my life again. Why does this happen? Im in love with her. Always have been. Its not right, or smart, I realize that, but I'm looking for the answer of why this happens. A deep answer, not surface area stuff.
I quote because it's a cute ending to your comments :-). You write, " A deep answer, not surface area stuff. " Very cute but serious as well, so I will do my best to reach deeply and I hope that my answer may further your own thoughts, expectantly.
Women are fickle at times. I am so as well. Yet coming back to you - it is painful! Right, yes, and this is not a disciplined behavior. The correction has to begin with what you think is best for you, though, it is fair judgment to expect so, in this case. And obviously she is already understanding what all this is doing to you.
So, simply stated, and not very deeply, I suppose, but I'm trying to feel you, just treat her as a loving father would, and I know that this may seem as an old and odd image to you. Yet it is a good plan, because some women grow into little girls instead of mature women, surprising to you, huh? In a humorous way this is so. And a parent has a right to discipline a child, this is only one idea to help you understand though. Think deeply about it for you will only be sure of this as you observe and evaluate her childish behavior, or the side of it that is comfortable with her youthful ideals.
As for me, I know that I never had the proper discipline of my own loving father (single parent issues), and I had ways very similar to those of the fleeting ways of your friend. Only I didn't realize that I was so innocently searching for a quiet, trained way to live by, and I often foolishly imagined it that I had finally met a true love. A true love I desired.
Though it was so enjoyable for me to go back, leave, and then go back again to a person only as a friend. I perceived that, in our friendship, it was only good to help me control my simple, thoughtless ways, and it was the fatherly love I needed as a comfort; this was where I trusted love, and as I only wanted to cuddle in my friend's loving arms only for a short while- until I felt more secure, and these phases only happened during those harsh times, times in which I was expected to meet another person's demands, often scary moments in which the two of us begin forming those type of unexpected ideas dealing with ideas of a starting a lasting relationship, in which times I didn't completely feel that I was mature and ready or trust in this relationship, so I fled; I went to the friend that I was sure really loved me, and would protect me, and would never hurt or disappointment me; I went to him because I already trusted him, even as I knew that I denied that this friend was the "real love," and I loved them even more for taking me in for comfort, too.
So, as you may now determine, she is probably not intending to offend you at all. Yet it was only that type of love, as a father would do, or brotherly love, which I was deeply attracted to, so it may be just as the same way for your friend as well, and for most women, of this quirky nature, it is often too late before they finally realize that the one they keep coming back to is the true love in which they search for.
Fortunately, I did marry my true love, whom I didn't understand it at that time but he had raised me way before our marriage, as I was then to him still behaving as a child. And even still for our many years together, I always depend on his "father-side" to help control my simple ways very often. And he remains gentle and kind, patient. I am grateful to him, and he eventually helped to restore my childlike-spirit in a comfortable and healthy way for me, so to speak of it.
I encourage you to consider what I tell as likely in your case, and please be patient and gentle with your own sweet mermaid lady; for she swims during the quiet, late night hours towards a glowing moon, so it is better for you to be aware of that fact; it is that loony but lovely side of her "kiddish" nature, and just be happy to love her even so. I know. *smile*
So blessed is she to have your love,
Remiah