Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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Wk22 02/13/2011

The situation with my ex-girlfriend seems to be getting worse, and its gotten to the point where I am really nice to her and she is being just mean to me. For example, she ignored me all last night, and then this morning ignored me for awhile too. I'm still nice to her and buy her things but she is always ignoring me or just being rude in general. Everyone always asks me why do I still like her and want to be with her after she does all this to me, and the truth is I don't know why... A lot of time times I just think of our memories together, but even still, I don't see why that would override how awful she currently treats me. Anyone have any advice or ideas? I guess I just keep hoping that its a temporary thing and that she'll move past this stage...

drwho546 02/13/2011

Ohh i have been there...and trust me IT DOESNT WORTH IT...ur gonna find someone better...ditch her...i regret every sec i spent pleasin my ex....u will hate it and regret it...ur dignity dude...ur dignity and ur self comes above everythin...ur nice, i totally understand...but u need to respect urself before respecting someone whom doesnt respect it!

playerapr 02/13/2011

Wk22 can't tell you why cause I'm trying to answer that question myself. Why do I keep loving him when he says he is in love with somebody else? why do I keep been nice to him when he don't care? I do think of our happy memories and maybe that's why I keep hoping this madness is temporary. Keep strong!!

More2Life 02/13/2011

Wk22 - I am right there with you, except my situation is more extreme. She has been ignoring me for MONTHS now, but I am still in love with her.

I've tried to move on, to date other people, but it's not helping me at all.

The only thing I can say is that you have to focus on yourself and try to be healthy.

That's all I can say.

Thanks,
More2Life

deleted_user 02/13/2011

You know the old saying-

Never make someone a priority while allowing yourself to be their option.

Wk22 02/13/2011

I know I should let go and just give up but at the same time she meant a lot to me. Im hoping she is just going through a phase. I will be coming home from college next weekend for a 5 day weekend, and i will see her then most likely. I guess that is when the big decision will be made. Maybe when she sees me she will realize she misses me and that this new guy she likes isnt right for her. If next weekend doesnt go well I have really no other choice but to give up

utterpain 02/13/2011

She's going to walk all over you as long as you are making yourself accessible to her. You really need to go NC, sounds like she's already moved on.

Wk22 02/13/2011

I just feel like if I go NC then the is going to assume I dont care about her anymore. I really dont want that to happen. Like I want to give her some distance, i think she would realize that I wasnt such a bad boyfriend, but then again, if i give her too much im afraid that she will just have me out of mind. im torn...

utterpain 02/13/2011

If she's ignoring you and interested in other guys, then I'm sorry, but she already has you out of her mind. The more you try to be nice and show you care the more it will actually push her away. You can see how this upcoming weekend goes, but I wouldn't get your hopes up, and I wouldn't take her rejection personally. She's got her own set of issues, and if you're not ready to go NC, then at least don't be the one to initiate contact, because right now you're acting like her doormat and as long as you do that she won't respect you.

Wk22 02/13/2011

I agree. Ive been looking up things and i feel like im too much of a nice guy. That may have been my problem, I just need to seem independant and make her want me.

MochaShell 02/13/2011

My ex is still in love with me but I was emotionally detached from the relationship for months before finally making the break. You can continue to feel love toward her, but know that it's not in your (or her) best interest to continue with mean interactions. I know it's painful, but reach out to others when you need support and minimize the communication with her to prevent further heartache.

Wk22 02/13/2011

Everyone seems to agree that i should talk to her less. I feel as if that might be a good idea too, but every night she says that she will text me tomorrow... i dont want to just not answer either, especially if she is the one texting me

deleted_user 02/14/2011

Hun sounds like she is keeping you as a backup just in case it doesn't work out with her new bf. Ask yourself did you desrve to be dumped? ie were you a nasty bf etc. Do you deserve the treatment you are getting now? When she says she will text does she and what does she say? You deserve to be happy, but I know the only way you'll be able to move on is if you ask yourself all these questions and only you can answer them. If you still want to keep her in your life you need to stop communicating to her, give yourself a chance to heal and get stronger, then you will be able to see things clearly. Because if you keep going the way you are she will use you, and you don't deserve that.

deleted_user 02/15/2011

I agree with ThrOVivac... I finally had to tell my ex to stop calling me tonight... it hurts too much.. I keep trying to get him back and he is done with me, except he still seems to want me to pine for him. He pulls away when I am clingy, but when I pull away and try to move on, he comes'a running.

It is best till you heal a bit to put some distance between you and her for a little while...give yourself a break. Maybe, she won't be so mean when you stop paying attention to her. You don't have to do it cold turkey, but just start with a little distance. It hurts a lot, but it is helping me... maybe it can help you too?

deleted_user 02/15/2011

Oh yeah, you will still probably care about her for a long, long time. That's okay, no need to trash your ex to try and move on... in fact when you still care and show respect for what you had... that helps too.

playerapr 02/15/2011

You don't have to ignore her just back off a little, pull away and take a break. Sometimes less is more. It is hard, I do also struggle trying to keep my emotions under control. Keep strong!! Hugs!!!!

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