Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

13,009 Members
100,360 Posts
0 Online
Relationships & Sexuality
/ Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Why do i let this happen?

nix192
nix192
I know its utter madness to have contact with someone your trying to let go of but i keep telling myself i will do soon .My ex just called me after texting yesterday and was telling me about his young daughter having a hard time at school etc,then decided to tell me that his ex tells him she wants to stop the divorce going through as shes decided she dosent want it now and she keeps thinking of him all the time.oh and she slept with some one he knows well about 6 weeks ago and has regreted it ever since.
She was the one that told him twice she never loved him anymore so he left and hes really in a bad way emotionally.We were together 4 months and it was the best time of my life he was so loving but then she came back on the scene telling him she missed him etc.I know with the kids involved it would be good if they could work it out but i really cant take hearing about it and think hes been very thoughtless in telling me.
Im so sad now and im crying again i just cant seem to let go and still love him deeply.I got over a 21 year marriage when i thought my world had ended so why am i finding this so hard to move on from?
deleted_user
deleted_user
I don't know this from experience, but I have heard a lot of people on this site say that the first break up after a divorce can be harder than the divorce itself.
Also, this sounds so complicated...what with the ex-wife and all. Maybe it is better to step aside for a bit so you don't get wrapped up in the middle of all this and get hurt even more.
nix192
nix192
Ive realised today that if i have any hope of healing from this i have to go NO CONTACT.Ive made a decision to do this i know its not going to be easy but i cant take anymore hurt,waiting to hear from him and being sad when he dosent call or text or being upset at the way he just always goes on about how bad his life is when im dying over what hes done to me.As for the relationship after divorce being harder to end i think its because you feel so unloved when your marriage breaks up that when your shown love and affection again its great then when it goes wrong your left hurting even more.I MUST NOT HAVE CONTACT WITH HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
deleted_user
deleted_user
Yeah, no contact. I really does help.
lycesq
lycesq
I agree with others - Nix, I'm sorry you are going through this!

Lynne
Misred
Misred
you know the drill hun, NC (((HUGS))). Apparently he isn't sure of what he wants and you deserve full attention. He is just keeping you waiting in the wings. You were his rebound and security blanket while he went through all that crap. That is why people are told to wait until divorce is final before getting into another relationship. It is harder when another person is involved.
nix192
nix192
thankyou for your comments,im getting so angry now how dare he expect me to be his cusion when hes feeling down and how dare he tell me how his ex still wants him when he knows im missing him.he dosent care about my feelings at all and i deserve so much better all i did was love him and i get treated this way.