Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I've been separated for a little over 4 years (we were together 17 yrs and married for 10) and finally decided to file for divorce a month ago.
I asked him to move out after I caught him cheating for the 3rd time. We went through phases of anger and then forgiveness but no real resolution. The roller coaster ride of trying to remain friends with him (because of our son) has been too much for me so as I mentioned, I filed.
When I did it I was so confident in my decision. Although this was not what I ultimately wanted, it was my only logical option. Since I filed I have been feeling bitter and resentful towards him because of all he has done. I seriously thought I was over this phase but it seems like it has opened up the flood gates again. I am trying so hard to not let it consume me and for him not to get to me but I feel so sad and mad.
This is also hard because I have to see him every day. He is self employed and takes care of my son while I'm at work. He picks him up in the morning and I pick him up at his house after work. There are days the stress of just seeing him makes me anxious and stresses me out. I don't want to take away my son's time with him for my own comfort but I'm at such a loss.
Please tell me I'm not alone in feeling this way.
I asked him to move out after I caught him cheating for the 3rd time. We went through phases of anger and then forgiveness but no real resolution. The roller coaster ride of trying to remain friends with him (because of our son) has been too much for me so as I mentioned, I filed.
When I did it I was so confident in my decision. Although this was not what I ultimately wanted, it was my only logical option. Since I filed I have been feeling bitter and resentful towards him because of all he has done. I seriously thought I was over this phase but it seems like it has opened up the flood gates again. I am trying so hard to not let it consume me and for him not to get to me but I feel so sad and mad.
This is also hard because I have to see him every day. He is self employed and takes care of my son while I'm at work. He picks him up in the morning and I pick him up at his house after work. There are days the stress of just seeing him makes me anxious and stresses me out. I don't want to take away my son's time with him for my own comfort but I'm at such a loss.
Please tell me I'm not alone in feeling this way.
So sorry you are here but you are in a good place. I am proud of you. You have taken the first step in improving yourself. Four years is a long time to wait for something to happen to reconcile your marriage. Once the divorce is final you will breath a little easier. Educate yourself on the laws in your state for divorce so you do not feel so vunrable.
This is not about your son and it sounds like you have a much needed sitter for him for the time being. May I suggest having a neighbor, friend or family drop him off at your husbands house or pick him up. You do not need to have lengthy discussions with your husband at this time either especially when it causes you a lot of anxiety.
You have every right to feel angry, upset and cry as much as you want. It will stop someday but this is how you can handle your frustrations right now and it's ok. You will have your good days and bad, you know this, so it's ok. You need to focus on what is healthy for you right now and having daily meetings with your husband is not working out for you.
Please find another alternative for your sons transportation while you are going through your divorce. I used to hate the word divorce it sounds so cold and hateful yet divorce allows many nice things also such as freedom, self expression, independence and you can buy whatever you want girl. Do something nice for yourself, eat your favorite food, go to the gym, buy yourself a nice blouse and start treating yourself with the respect you deserve. Take care