Same advice: Put it, and her, behind you. Chalk this up to experience and consider yourself schooled in the fine art of not answering her phone calls to you.

You have to let her go...And her sister and grandmother too.

Hugs of strength to you... xoxo

I wish I would have married a guy like you...One that cared and loved me.

Sorry Jim, but as painful and tough as it is, you know you can't make someone love you, and you can actually drive them away for good. It happened to me, and probably alot more on this board. I would love to simply erase my mind of ever knowing him. Setbacks will happen, going through one of my own right now. We all care about you, and want what's best for you. You must let her go so you can start healing and moving on.

Try to let it go. Sending my love & support - G

For her to abuse you over the phone is something you don't need. Let it go for now and give it time to heal.

Gentle ((hugs))
:-) Patricia

Jim- Sorry to hear that. Two things.
First is that this is not in your hands what she does or how she reacts to your emotions/feelings/actions. So stop blaming yourself that you did something wrong. Just follow NO CONTACT, which means no contact to any of her relatives too.

Second, I believe there is so much you want to say to her. There is so much inside you that you have not been able to vent out and say to her. That is tearing you apart and that is why you are eager to contact her. I know you loved her so much. Keep in mind that love is now gone and you will have to fill that void by loving yourself. Let's try this. Write her a letter (On a paper not email) about what you want to say to her. Everyday but never post them or show them to her. This way you will be able to get your intense emotions out.
HUGS to you.

I had the exact same thought as LostinFlorida. I also wish I had married a guy like you. A guy who cared. I would totally beat some sense into her for you if I could because what I wouldn't give to have a man who cared for me like that.

while enduring countless hours of pain, examining every aspect of your relationship. what was good, bad and or indifferent, still there has been a split, breakup, or divorce. IMO there are no rules that say you must listen to a verbal barrage from her on the phone no matter how much you care/cared for her. Hang up. She gave up the right to spar with you about much of anything once she said your relationship was over. Do not welcome more infection to set into the pain that is already there. JMO

Hey Jim...

Now that I found your post I understand your text...

She doesn't deserve you. Plain and simple. The no contact thing, while I know it is and will be difficult, it is what you need hun... the space will help you, ya know.

I agree with the other two in this thread, I wish I would have married a man that cared for me and fought for me that way...

One day, one moment at a time Jim, if that's what it takes.

Jim,

Here's something I found helped me get some of the 'stuff' out of my system, even if it at the time it was only temporary.

I paced around the house voicing everything, and I do mean everything, that was going through my mind. My feelings for her, my anger with her, my disbelief at how cruel she was verbally and emotionally when she dumped me, etc. I would cry, yell, whatever I was feeling. I didn't hold anything back.

I found it much more therapeutic than journaling or even posting here and getting feedback. Something about vocalizing the raw emotions that were stirring deep down inside me.

Heheh, my poor dog must have thought I was going off the deep end! :-)

Now if I remember correctly, you do have a children, but I think they are of an age where there will be times they will be out of the house? Maybe take those opportunites and give it a try?

I'm so sorry for your pain - why does the good guys marry the witches and the good girls marry the ass***? You are good hearted and a good man - she knows that and is taking advantage of it - you dont have to take it. She block your number and you are hurt but in the end is going to be better. You can't control her feelings or how she reacts, take care of yourself, try to let it go. Stay strong you are not alone!!!!

Thanks to everyone for your kind comments and support. I have this site as my only emotional help right now as family just doesn't understand....

I ask each of you to write as often as you can because it helps so much to know I am not alone.

Jim

you are such a great and loving guy. you dont desirve any of this! but i agree with Texasguy. write her letters on paper then dont send them. i have read a bood recently that had the same advice and it helped for me.

She has no job and she thought that your good heart would continue to allow her status quo of working for you and no changes in her life would happen after she decided to break up.

So, no surprise that she is angry and whatever next she will do. Right now, here is the point of focus: you must love yourself more than you love her. I am very sad for her son, very sad for you and your children as all lived the relationship with you. Now is time for healing. She blocked your number, but she will not stop there because she is mad. And I would advice that you be prepared because when this other guy dumps her for another woman (and we know it will happen as there is a pattern there) she will probably blame you.

We don't know why people make these choices, all we know is what we want and what we don't want for ourselves.

You draw the line in the sand, made clear of how hurt you are, tried to put some sense in her mind, and her choice was to stick with her decision. I know how hard it is when working with the significant other comes to an end.

You will be ok, staty strong during this phase, talk, get support in any way you feel would help you, be true and firm to you first. Only this way you will be able to clearly see that once again you reached the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

watch your business, keep payroll, invoices flowing, don't hand it to a third party because you don't know if she will look for revenge. What your business carefully.

Have a great day.