Not that all of life is based on beauty....but you are beautiful...maybe just maybe you pick douchebags for boyriends...and maybe youre an ok person with imperfections and your guy is a dipshit...just saying...whats the joke...where the guy/lady says it hurts when I (do a certain action) and the Dr says "stop doing that action...again life isnt all about looks...but jeez...maybe youre worth someone better...

Marriage should be based off of love, not an incorrect food order! Thank goodness you're not married. I wasn't either, but was still with him for 12 years! You are not alone in feeling the way you do. I went back and forth too. Many times. He would cheat, he would lie, he would apologize, cry and cry and cry, promise me the world, say he wouldn't do it again.........and always did. HE never changed, only I did. And I mean everything.........about myself. It didn't matter. It was him. I am very frustrated with myself too. I knew better all along. I just felt myself sinking deeper and deeper, but never able to get completely out, even moved 3 states away!!! Physically removing myself wasn't even enough, I was still emotionally attached and HE TOLD me HE was too.....then I would go back and HE would be the same asshole that I left the first 5 times!!! I went to therapy and still gave in too. I thought LOVE conquers ALL! Right? Isn't that what we think, isn't that what we are taught and see in the movies? Yeah, right, then we all get this big whammy reality check and it's nothing like that. You have to try to break away. Everyone on this site is in a different situation, or different point in their break up and in their own progress. We all have to make our own decisions at the end of the day......and if it feels this bad right now, it WON'T get better. He already knows that he can walk all over you and you will allow it, you will do whatever you need to do to "make it better". It's not right. What is HE doing for YOU to make anything better??? (Probably nothing). So, unfortunately, we are our only hope. Please know that we all deserve better and if you already feel it in your heart, believe it in your soul. I hope you find strength to leave. hugs!

Another suggestion, that someone else on here told me about is a really helpful we site that teaches you, helps you understand and weans you through relationships, break ups and regaining self-respect. It's called BaggageReclaim.org. Check it out.

You can let go....you just haven't decided to yet. You're heart isn't keeping you there, it's your obsessive, unrealistic notion that you want to believe that your love will change this man; that you are the woman that will change him and you will live happily ever after. Your pride is keeping you there.

So far, however, you are just a glutton for abuse, and if you don't start listening to your head...you will eventually lose your mind.

You have the ability to get out....you just don't have the willpower and confidence, as his daily baraging and toxic destruction of your self-esteem is eroding your willpower. Why not listen to your mind in this case.

Thank you all for your kind comments... It was so insane, not only had I just gotten off work when he had been lounging around the house all day (I work weekends), which he will tell me is my fault because I don't have a normal job... I mean the list goes on... but I told him i was sorry, and was willing to drive back up to the restaurant to fix it and he just wouldnt hear it. He ended up eating my food and the salad was thrown away. It was so embarrassing because I called up to the restaurant the next morning and got them to refund the salad, at his order and the manager was so kind and was saying how it still doesnt make up for the wrong order, and I was sitting there thinking, who give two sh**s about a salad being slightly incorrectly made, he would NEVER get mad at a server who did that, or call them stupid, worthless, etc. I told the manager thank you, and I personally didnt care but my boyfriends night was ruined lol. All he said was "thanks!" after I let him know it would be refunded and I just said whatever and he said no, im serious, I really appreciate you did that... like it was some test or something. I am not who I used to be. When we first started dating I noticed little idiosyncrasies about him, and beliefs he held that were sooo far off from how I lived my life and treated other and situations. I fear that is why I am not the happy, motivated person I used to be. I cant blame him, but I cant find any other difference in my life now than how it was back then