sounds like your relationship has reached the end of life.

It is at this stage that things get stale and you're no longer finding out new things about each other so it's not really exciting anymore.

You hold on with a hope that somehow things are just going to work themselves out. Bad news, chances are, they won't.

If you want to seriously jump to the next level, you two need to figure it out quickly. If you don't, you may as well save yourself the time and break it off now.

I wish I had good news to giveto you. Unfortunately I don't. You say he is physically & verbally abusing you. To me that would be a deal breaker right there. Believe me the abuse justgets worse. To him you are a puppet on a string. Walking away from him is your best option. Think you cant findsomeone to spend your life with? Think again you cando it. You don't really wantto know the next stage of abuse is.

Not sure why you posted this both here and in the codependency group. Here's my reply from that group:

Hi sunsets1386.. Do you think that this boyfriend is meeting your needs? If you are a codependent like me, you might not even know what your needs are.

Take some to take stock in your relationship with him. What are your needs? What are your values? What kind of future do you want in your relationship?

Then ask yourself if this person is meeting your needs, values, and vision for the future. If the anwers that come back are no.. then maybe you should consider whether or not this relationship is really serving you well.

If its not serving you, maybe its time to consider a heart-to-heart talk with your boyfriend and maybe even counseling.

Anyway, just my two cents. Take what you like and leave the rest.

I remember when I was young and experienced my first episode of verbal abuse from my now ex. How I wish I would have recognized it as such and walked away then.

Please don't make my mistake and stay with someone who cheated and was verbally/emotionally abusive. I lost a lot of years I can't get back and am now trying to date at age 52 in youth-obsessed culture. It is definitely not easy.

This man offers you nothing and the only thing that is holding back is fear. You need to learn that you don't need a man to make your life complete. Please get into some counseling to help build your self-esteem.

You are young and don't deserve this treatment. Please don't waste any more time. Ditch this loser.

If you stay it will only get worse. My advice is to leave this unhealthy relationship. He "says" he loves you but his actions show otherwise. You are just his punching bag (even if it's verbal) to take his frustrations out on.

Good luck on your interview. I agree, finding someone to be in a relationship who is a good match is difficult. But while you are stuck with a jerk you won't be available for the right one when he does come. Don't fall into the trap that you have to have a BF to be whole. Work on yourself so that you're not so needy and don't put up with crap you don't have to.

Ok....
He sounds like a mean sick bastard...
The problem is with you and not him. Any normal woman would have run from him buy now. I say go get some help. Asking for help here is a good start. I say go see a thrapaist. Talk to your clergy. Find a group of battered women online.
Do something before you get really hurt.
Run SUNSET Run

I think when we have had enough we've had enough and we will leave, in your case you are not living with this guy right? You don't see him ALL the time? You need to find some support and stop all contact with him. You'll be amazed at how quickly you can start to heal and how quickly you will feel like a huge weight has been lifted off your shoulders. I spent 10 years walking on egg shells hoping nothing would set him off- it was to the point where anything and everything set him off- things that had nothing to do with me. If he had a bad day at work it was taken out on me, his favourite hash browns changed and they added onion- that was my fault too. He ended up crushing my voice box, breaking my noise and would have stabbed me too if his aunt hadn't showed up- is that what you want?
@fastmatt- ya you sound like an abusive person yourself! He is a mean and sick person and HE is the problem not her! "Any normal woman" would have run by now- seriously it's stupid comments like that, which make people in abusive relationships afraid to reach out for help to begin with! You would never understand why I stayed or anyone else does for that matter. If you've never been in such a situation you don't have a clue what it's like. He always promised me he would find me and kill me, also promised to kill my Mom! We lived in a smaller town and EVERYONE thought he was the greatest- it's not always as easy as you think.

But yes sunsets you CAN walk away from him- there is so much more to life and so much happiness out there. Don't be looking for other options to fill his space- look to being great on your own and finding out what you enjoy doing- when you are in a happy place you can then find the right guy. That's the mistake people make- they don't want to leave until they have someone else lined up. No way can you be mentally ready for a healthy relationship when you are walking out of a bad one.

"Struggling with extreme depression, anxiety, and relapse issues, alone".... what if I were to tell you that the REASON you feel these is because you are staying where you are? Would you move yourself away?

Something I follow as I grow and move forward... "Setting AND achieving challenging goals is a remarkably powerful way to discover your strengths, work on your weaknesses and build your self-esteem". All you have to do is start! {{HUGS}}