Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I read a post today on instagram which got me thinking so much. It read "Being Single and happy shows more strength than being with someone who makes you misearable." It got me thinking back to the time where I was left heartbroken and afraid of moving on. I was afraid of being alone mostly and jumped from girl to girl just to feel mildly ok. It was the wrong thing to do I know and got hurt even more by doing so.
I also remember the first time I mustered up the courage to say "I WANT TO BE ALONE FOR A WHILE" it was liberating and so damn scary. Being alone? ME? no freaking way.... then after the first couple of horrible months of getting used to the idea of being alone I finally felt it. I felt LOVED. Not by someone but by ME. I started to love myself and my free time. To love my job and my daily activities. My alone time became precious. I got so much done. I started to roll forward in life all by myself with no ties. I realized then one thing: I had always suffered from low self esteem and for the first time I loved who I am and felt proud of myself.
People let me tell you it was the most liberating experience of my life. I am in a relationship now and have been for a year. We have not fought once. We get along. We respect each other's privacy and alone time. We understand each other.
One day we talked about this and realized it isn't because we are more mature now than we were in our past relationships. It is because we spent that time alone working on ourselves before we decided to let someone in again.
I invite you all to try this at least once in your lives. Spend a year or two or as much as you need by yourself with no romantic relationships or ties and FIND YOURSELF. Learn to love yourself and grow as an individual before growing with someone else again.
BTW: the instagram post is on an account called LifeCoach504 ... if you can read THAT post so you have some idea why it hit me so hard. What he or she wrote in the comment filled me so much because it made me realize I am finally at that point in my life which I never even dreamed I could be someday after suffering from codependency and clinical depression for so long.
It all fell apart a little over two months ago and I was and still am so scared to be alone but I came to realize that I have never fully healed from my own divorce nor had he and we were extremely codependent. We have both decided to take a break to work on ourselves and hope that we will find our way back to each other in the future but realize that we had never learned to live alone, never learned to embrace it and become our own people.
Your post gives me hope that there is light at the end of the tunnel. I am still struggling but getting better every day.