Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

13,009 Members
100,360 Posts
1 Online
Relationships & Sexuality
/ Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Why am I not crying...

sem1998
sem1998
I discovered my husband cheating last Sunday and I have yet to cry about it. I love him more than anything so this has devastated me but for some reason there are no tears which is very strange for me. Has this happened to anybody else?
lostsoul72
lostsoul72
If I had to guess I would say your either in SHOCK and dissbalief.

Maybe you have had suspitions for awhile ?
Missy73
Missy73
Everyone reacts differently. I couldn't stop crying (for months) and I'm someone who rarely cries. Like LostSoul wrote, you're probably in shock. However you respond, be kind to yourself. Survival is the name of the game right now. Do whatever you need to do to make it through this tough time.
ChiTownBear
ChiTownBear
Good question.

How are you feeling?
sem1998
sem1998
I am devastated and I'm going through hundreds of emotions everyday. I knew something was off with him but I never suspected he would cheat so I was completely taken off guard. I guess it can be shock but I would think I'd be past that after almost a week already.
ChiTownBear
ChiTownBear
maybe cus you never suspected it, it aint quite real yet, in your mind. Or maybe... well.. is he still there, with you? Was it a one time thing?

I was devastated when my ex left for a weekend to be with her sister, then never came back; well except for one day to get some stuff.

I was mad and no longer sad when I found out the time she wanted to spend apart was cus she was wanting to be with an older married guy.
Missy73
Missy73
The shock can come and go. It's been over 18 months since I learned I'm married to a cad and there are still moments when it seems surreal. Sometimes I wake up in the morning and I have to remind myself that this isn't just a nightmare.
broken234
broken234
Yes this happened to me. I felt the same way. Like why am i not crying does that mean I am OK with this. Even when he left I didn't cry. I think that was shock though. I have cried, punched things, screamed into a pillow, been sad, confused, etc. etc. you name it. I don't mean to say things will get worse, but i think that the shock may wear off and you may start to have some of these very painful emotions. It does get better. I promise. I am about 4 months into my ordeal and I don't cry as much. Hang in there
refurb
refurb
SHOCK instantaneous, don't think i breathed for a week, Tears no, despair yes

worse was her crocodile tears, she confirmed only what she knew I know and nada ounce more, that is what sickens me about her to this day

i can't go no contact because she is the womb of my kids
mother? well she is pretend that as she was wife

hurts more now - her ongoing deceit

tears no