Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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bluedragon41 09/28/2012

To put up with me now?

I have major depression , PTSD, something that looks like Multiple personality disorder lite, Asthma, allergies, and loose skin from having lost a LOT of weight.
Basically, being with my spouse is worse than being alone, but being alone is still bad.

Now I'm afraid I'm just going to get trapped in another snare of obligation and guilt...I am afraid to try again.
I did the right thing.
But it still hurts.

deleted_user 09/28/2012

It doesn't sound like finding someone new is the right move right now, anyway. Work on you..getting mentally fit, physically fit. Once you feel better about you then you can think about finding someone.

I think people rush from one to the other, when there's still so much to do for ourselves...to make us not just SEEM better but to really be better.

Hang in there!!! :)

gem111 09/28/2012

I totally agree with trying. You need to take some time to work on yourself to be in a better place then it sounds like you are in now. Maybe counseling would help. A lot of people on here says it has helped them a lot. I wish you well and happiness. Good luck

Tesinato 09/28/2012

I agree. Focusing on yourself is probably best right now. I know being lonely sucks. But I propose a question to you hylie. Do you want someone to care for you, or someone to share a life with you? There aren't many people in this world that want to care for someone. Sadly I learned this lesson the hard way, though admittedly it wasn't my decision to be cared for. Just food for thought.

deleted_user 09/29/2012

I agree with all of the other comments. Focus on you right now. You want to make sure that your head and heart are in the right place when you finally do meet someone. Also, wouldn't you want to be with someone that enjoys and wants to be with you rather than just "putting up with you"? Have you considered therapy? I find it very helpful. Hang in there and focus on you right now.

deleted_user 09/29/2012

Some of the best changes in myself came from times I was single. I spent my days doing things that made me me, dancing, cooking healthy, pushing myself to make new friends and join activities, write, and watch foreign movies with my own wine and cheese parties on a weekend night. I brought those qualities into my next relationships and was more self confident. Date yourself for awhile, make yourself into your dream guy/girl!

deleted_user 09/29/2012

I never worried if anyone would love me again.

For two reasons:

1) I knew I was alone in any moment by my own choosing, mostly because I wasnt ready to date

2) I knew I was lovable, the evidence of having been loved before, proved it...so, if I was loved before, and I am lovable, theres no reason I wont be in a loving relationship again

I imagine you could say the same 2 things about you.

The other stuff, the depression, PTSD, asthma, allergies, loose skin are all treatable, all workable if you really want it bad enough.

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