Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Hi, I need advice of what to do?
I am in middle of divorce, We have two kids: 12 yrs old girl and 14 yrs old boy. Two years before divorce, she quitted working and problems started from there. Money was not the issue, but I think loneliness and boresome created problems. By the time I realized that, it was too late. divorce process started more than three years ago withou seeing end to it. Maybe because I don't want to let my kids go. I still live at home where I see my kids everyday. It is very hard to see my Ex everyday. but seeing my kids, I forgot all about her.
Where I am at right now, either I sale the house and split the money and kids have to move to whereever my ex-wife decide to live and they have to start their life at new school and start new friends. Or I use my name to refinance the house and she and the kids still live there? My name is still attach with the house so anything happens with the house, I am still legally responsible for it. she cannot refinance the house on her own and her Brothers and sisters don't want to help her by co-sign.
My pro and cons:
Sale the house:
pro: end of our attachment, we go our own way. clean cut.
con: to me, kids will have to move to apartment. start new school. start new friends. It might be bad school and bad neighborhood, don't know.
Refinance the house with my name attach:
Pro: kids stay at same house, good neighbors, good town, kids stay at same school, kids will have same friends.
Con: I still attach with my Ex on the house. any wrong at the house, I can be liable. Any wrong, we might have to go back to court, means more money spend. I still have to deal with her and wait until the time she can remove my name from the mortgage. headache goes on and on.
I don't know what to do. Families told me to sale the house. Me, I worry for my kids.
Please give me advice.
thanks
I am in middle of divorce, We have two kids: 12 yrs old girl and 14 yrs old boy. Two years before divorce, she quitted working and problems started from there. Money was not the issue, but I think loneliness and boresome created problems. By the time I realized that, it was too late. divorce process started more than three years ago withou seeing end to it. Maybe because I don't want to let my kids go. I still live at home where I see my kids everyday. It is very hard to see my Ex everyday. but seeing my kids, I forgot all about her.
Where I am at right now, either I sale the house and split the money and kids have to move to whereever my ex-wife decide to live and they have to start their life at new school and start new friends. Or I use my name to refinance the house and she and the kids still live there? My name is still attach with the house so anything happens with the house, I am still legally responsible for it. she cannot refinance the house on her own and her Brothers and sisters don't want to help her by co-sign.
My pro and cons:
Sale the house:
pro: end of our attachment, we go our own way. clean cut.
con: to me, kids will have to move to apartment. start new school. start new friends. It might be bad school and bad neighborhood, don't know.
Refinance the house with my name attach:
Pro: kids stay at same house, good neighbors, good town, kids stay at same school, kids will have same friends.
Con: I still attach with my Ex on the house. any wrong at the house, I can be liable. Any wrong, we might have to go back to court, means more money spend. I still have to deal with her and wait until the time she can remove my name from the mortgage. headache goes on and on.
I don't know what to do. Families told me to sale the house. Me, I worry for my kids.
Please give me advice.
thanks
1. it is bigger and more expensive than you need.
2. you now have alimony and child support to pay.
3. too many memories.
4. a two bedroom apartment is easy to maintain.
5. as a newly single man, you will need flexible options.
kids can adapt to change well if both parents create stable, nurturing homes. it doesn't matter if it is an apartment or a house. make it stable, relaxed, and safe.
after a divorce, it is important to simplify our lives and pay off debt. if you do that, it sets the stage for your next chapter of being a single man with full control over his life.
In my head, I know I have to do.
But sometimes, I struggle with the thoughts that my kids would not turn out right. therefore, I keep fight back and forth and don't know whick way to go. I don't know why I can't make up my mind and execute what I have to do.
I have to go and do what I have to do now.
thanks
Then I had no option and moved to another town. Kids adjust and are flexible.
Also, you can't afford the home and that's a key financial part of this. You will have to sell as part of the divorce.
I think I have clear understanding of what I need to do. I just need someone outside of my circle pushes me.
I don't want to fight for kid's custody. The winners are the lawyers. She loves the kids too. I will take the back seat roll. I told her I will take both kids in anytime. My door is always open for my kids.
Maybe after the house the sold, I can buy small and much cheaper house in the neighborhood so my kids can stop by if they still stay in the same school district.
thank you all for your time.