Just a quick warning, this is going to be pretty long.

It all started in 2006. She messaged me on MySpace. I thought it was a booty call type message. Looking at ppl she didn't know and sending a message in hopes of getting sex on a regular basis. I hesitated messaging her but I did. We met, fell in love and that was it. Moved in together and had lived with each other for almost the entire relationship. I'm not pefect. I'm an Aries. If you think the zodiac related traits aren't true, meet your evidence. Who I am lines up perfectly to the reported traits of Aries born ppl. So I have my negative traits and so did she. But we forged on. We had our ups and our downs, highs and lows. But I loved her beyond belief and I thought she love me the same. I became very close to her family and vice versa. Her mom would even call me sometimes before she'd call her own daughter. 2010 comes and she leaves. Moved out on Valentine's day. I was crushed. It all started when I jokingly told her if she wanted to see other ppl, she could. Things were slightly rocky and I just wanted her to be happy. She was going through a "I missed my college party days" faze and it was dragging our relationship. Quick backstep, I'm not a drinker, smoker, or outright party-goer. She on the other hand was all of the above. I was 19 when we met and she was 18. So you can see how our differences started to wane. Back to the story. I guess she took the joke serious and secretively went and had a coffee date with an employee. She confessed this to me and I was a bit upset but got over it. So one night, she gets a phone call really late. It was a generic ringtone. I asked her who was calling and she said it was her best friend, but I knew her friend had a custom ringtone. She immediately got up and left the room which was suspicious b/c she's never left the room before if it was her friend calling. Turns out it was her coworker. A big fight happened that night. She left for the night. Came back, I cried begging her not to leave me. She stayed. We planned a trip. Went to the TN Aquarium. I had her phone with me and went to use the restroom. Went through her phone and saw messages that bothered me. Nothing indicating that she was actually cheating, but enough to cause doubt. Later that evening I confessed to looking through her phone and she swore to me nothing was going on. After that trip, things were different. She decides she needed to move out and take space from me to figure out things and work on herself. He moves out and immediately starts seeing some guy from KY. Picking him up every weekend and spending money she didn't have, not paying her bills or rent. I know, I know, I shouldn't have cared, much less knew any of this information, but I did. I knew all her passwords to everything and was being sort of "stalker-ish". I'd never thought I'd be so jealous. She was my first real "out of school" relationship. I was torn. I cried day in and day out. I couldn't listen to the radio b/c every song reminded it me of us and the break. I couldn't watch tv, it only made things worst. I lost 20 pounds in a week due to not eating. I was heartbroken. I was pissed. She leaves to work on herself, but needs to have this guy with her every weekend, staying at her place? ARGH. I was invited to her parents for a birthday dinner, her step-dad and my birthday are really close. She asked me to go to her place and grab a pan that belonged to her parents. I did, but not before reading her journal. She knew that I wanted some shoes for my birthday but had whined saying she didn't have any money to get me anything. Come to find out, from the journal, she bought her boytoy from KY some shoes a week before my birthday. She had a promissory note for him to pay her back, but she spent money on him KNOWING, I was wanting some shoes. Then turns around a whines about not having money. I was livid. The next day I snapped. I told her to come get the rest of her crap out of our apt and I didn't want to she her anymore. She came and grab a couple of things and left a lot behind, stating she would come at a later date. I was seeing red so I bulldozed through. Her biological father has been deceased for about 8 years at this point. She had an urn of his ashes. She left his urn and grab a radio and chest instead. I was bewildered. You'd leave your father for a radio and chest? Really. I called her and told her how heartless that was and no wonder I was going through this crap. Told her that I hope she was home b/c I was dropping off the rest of her crap and if she wasn't it would be on the porch. That night ended badly. The next day, I was upset at myself. That guy wasn't me. I emailed her an apology but still held on the fact that I was done with her for good. No dating, friendship and etc. She eventually called me and talked things over. She was upset, said she didn't want to lose me, decided to come back. Big mistake. We get back together. Move into a new apt and now starts a new chapter. Things seem ok, I was still about on edge with my trust for her, but eventually got over it. I had learned from her that she had screwed the guy from KY and I was hurt. I loved this girl beyond my wildest dreams and the thought of her with another man killed me. Got over it. We conceive. Give birth on Feb 14, 2011. Crazy how things work. She left V-day 2010, we have a kid V-day 2011. Yes, it is mine. Things are slipping downward again. I am trying my best to please her every need. I do all the cleaning, most of the cooking, all the laundry and etc. I pay most of the bills. I gave her massages whenever she asked. We move again. This is where things got worse. Our sex life was horrible. I could barely get her to touch me and vice versa. She eventually asks for a breakup. June 2011. I move out and in with my father. She tells me, since we are still talking, that she is doing nothing with anyone, she just wants time to herself. My pops moves out of his place and I had nowhere to go. Moved back in with my ex and her roommate. I slept in the living room. I was trying at all times to get back with her. I hated being apart. Nothing I was trying seemed to help. Me and my pops find a new place and move. Now she is calling me all the time, texting me, still saying she is doing nothing with anyone. She's not having sex b/c she doesn't have the drive to, not dating. One day she needs me to pay a bill while she was out of town for work. I get over to our old place and look for the money. She never told me where it was so I kept looking. I come across an empty box of emergence contraceptive. The morning after pill. ARE YOU KIDDING ME???!!! I was livid. So she's been lying this whole time? We'd been semi intimate over the last couple of months, and now I find out she was screwing someone else, I was not happy. I post something on facebook referring to seeing things you wish you hadn't. She calls me and says she knows what I'm talking about, proceeds to tell me it was a guy she knew, that coworker from a couple of years ago, but that was it. I was so upset, crying like crazy. She calls me back crying, apologizing. Says she's leaving her work conference early to come to me. She speeds home and stays with me. She visibly upset. We get over that night. I ending communication with her unless it involved our daughter. That didn't work. Shew constantly called me, texted me saying she couldn't stop talking to me. I eventually gave in and we continued to talk. March 2012, She moves from her apt to my apt community but to an apt around the corner from me. I help her move. Show up to her place one day after working and then moving her stuff to find a guy's belongings in her place. I was livid. Told her again, I'm done talking to you. Once again, she calls and texts apologizing, not wanting to lose me. One night she calls me, apologizing for calling and saying she needs to tell me something. I was thinking, OH GOD, SHE PREGNANT. She puts me on hold and never comes back. I call and call back, to no answer. I go over to her apt and knocking on the door. I hear shuffling and then she slides out the door, trying to keep me from looking it. I knew someone was there, I wasn't born yesterday. She proceeds to tell me that she was scared b/c she broke it off with some guy and he made threats. She called me and her "coworker" and he came over. Here's a clue, if you want to call someone, call one NOT both. I storm off, she asked me not to be upset, I was, but I said I wasn't. She texts me and I text back to no response. I sent the kind of message that you respond to. I called over 20 times to no answer. I stormed back over and banged on the door. She comes out and I snapped. Asking if she was too busy screw to answer my calls or text back. She claims she was sleep and that her phone was on silent, but that he was still there. I didn't believe her. I told her I couldn't do this anymore b/c my heart couldn't take it. I leave her crying on the porch. She texts me stating she was coming over. We meet outside and talk. At first she said she doesn't know why she came over and was about to leave. I said no, you obviously had something to talk about. She said she made "him" leave. She swears they weren't having sex. She apologizes again and continues to say she can't lose me. I'm all she has. I'm her best friend. Fooled me. I fell for it. I love her, I want her. She states about feeling a lil suicidal and she's had problems with cutting before us dating, which I knew. I didn't want her sleeping in her place by herself, so I made her stay with me. From that point, I was over her place almost every night. I thought things were going good and we were making progress. I was been through her facebook during this time, unbeknownst to her and saw messages that bothered me. Also found out she took a trip to Chicago with this other guy, "T", that she'd met off of POF. Found her camera, saw pictures of Chicago landmarks. I had played around with the notion to visiting Chicago and asked her if she'd ever been, she says NO, Never. I know, I shouldn't worry about what she's done while we've been separated but I can't help it. We have another big argument after this and I told her that I feel like I'm putting 100000% of myself into us and I'm only getting 15% of her. I felt like she didn't love me like I loved her. I told her that we can't keep doing this if I'm striving from something that she doesn't want. We get over this. Now this whole time that I'm over her place, we are not being sexual. She's barely touching me. I'm going insane. I am beyond sexually frustrated. July 2012, I look through her phone. The last weekend in June, she went out with friends. First week of July, she goes to CA for her birthday. Third week of July, I look through her phone. I see that see was supposed to have been picked up by "T" and go back to her place to screw. I also open her POF app to see that she was trying to plan another sexual rendezvous with another guy that she's screwed. I confront her about this. I was upset. Here I am thinking things are going decent only to read that we were trying to screw these two guys. Granted she shot down the guy on POF saying "due to her schedule", but I know for a fact "T" was going to get it. She swears on everything that nothing happened. He came to the place where her and her coworkers were hanging out, but was wanting to leave right then and but she didn't. So he left. I read in that message that she had hidden condoms somewhere. But more on that later. So now I'm pissed and she's upset. She continues to say she can't lose me. Remember readers, we technically aren't dating this whole time. So a couple of weeks later, i see her on her POF app and looking at a definite back and forth conversation with someone. I got upset. So I devised a plan to make a fake profile and catch her. It worked. We went to eat later on the day I made the profile and contacted her and she figured out it was me. I confessed and told her why I did it. We again got upset, started to cry. I'm beginning to think she's playing me with the tears and emotions. We get past that. I, like an idiot, continue to try and move forward with her. She is my heart, mind, body, and soul. I don't know how I'd survive without her. Anyway, two weeks straight, I text her long messages on Sunday morning, my mind wonders a lot when I'm at work, and they aren't received well. The last one, Sunday before last, prompted an argument of sorts. She says she's can't keep waking up to these types of messages. That she thought things were going good but she obviously seems to keep failing. I told her that I'm sorry. All of this crap has severely hurt my self esteem and self confidence. So that prompts me to doubt myself and us. She says my feelings are vaild b/c of the hell she's put me through. I told her I want to be with her, if I didn't I would have left a long time ago. Any sane person would have. We have been ok for the last few weeks, we've even been sexually but no sex. Yesterday, I went to her old place, she's not really there anymore, breaking her lease and moving in with her parents due to financial reason, and search for the hiddne condoms. I found them. In a box of 12, 5 were missing. These, I'm sure are "T's" This entire time, she's told me she just didn't have the urge to have sex, but it's apparent she just didn't want to have sex with me. Again, I know I should care about what she'd done while we've been broken up, but it's hard not to care. Not when you are putting forth effort to be with that person. All that runs through my mind now is the fact that she's laid in bed with other guys. That she's lied to me multiple times. Were those guys better than me? Did they please her better? Those are the thoughts that run through my mind. Is she lying to me? Is she being sneaky? Who's she texting? That's what I think about. But at the end of the day, my heart is still there. She still has my heart. All of it. I can't leave her side. I don't want to leave her side. I still want to marry her. What is wrong with me? What should I do? Where should I go from here?