Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
10 years and three kids in and it looks like he is calling it quits. When we are good, we are great together, but those times seem so far faded. Where do I go from here? I'm a stay at home mom with nothing..and I mean nothing. No money, no family, no car..what do I do? All of this because I am tired of him being so selfish. Not helping with housework, going days without seeing or doing anything for kids because he sleeps. Tired of asking for everything (even our fucking dates I had to ask For) I guess the constant fighting and me bitching finally made him leave. I just want a partner, someone who helps 50/50. I did everything when I had a job too so I don't know what his excuse is. I just want to be valued. So besides meeting me half way, he tells me I cannot change who he is but he expects me to change. I just don't know what to do. I think I am more afraid of where to go from here and what to do to get out of this shit. He decides to leave when I have nothing.
Same with me. Then I became a stay-at-home-mom for 4 years and had 2 sons. Went back part time. Realized the more I worked part time, the more hostile he became because there were more home care demands placed upon him. He wanted me to be the perfect 1950's housewife, with the kids already having had their dinner, all toys put away, and freshly bathed by 6:00 pm, so he could have a nice home cooked meal in peace and play with them a bit before settling down for his 5 hours of tv viewing. Somehow I was to not put the kids in day care yet still bring in full time money. What? He never got that this was to be a partnership. That there is give and take, sacrifices to be made by both sides. He did a crappy job of taking care of the kids when I worked nights and weekends, so I gave those jobs up.
I finally realized that for me to expect him to help out with housework, yardwork, bills, etc after we had kids was ridiculous. He'd never done it before, why in the world would he do it after 10 years of marriage? Like your husband, he stated that he would never change. So I divorced him, finally (there were a ton of other issues, too). Best thing I've ever done for myself.
Investigate, research, reach out to community groups whose goal is to assist women in transition. Find job training, daycare alternatives, employment assistance, financial and legal assistance. He can't leave you high and dry, he'll have to pay child support and some alimony. I know it feels overwhelming and insurmountable, but you can survive this. Take it slowly, breathe.