Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

13,010 Members

100,360 Posts

0 Online

strumphyy 03/19/2009

After more than a month of going through the break up process I thought I was on my way to being fine.
But now I find myself feeling depressed and lonely again and missing him more than ever.I am back to square one. Nothing has happened, I haven't talked to him or anything, but my love for him and all the suffering just came back..With no apparent reason..
I thought the hard part had passed and things would only get better..But I see now how much I love him, how damaged I feel my heart to be..
I guess it ain't oer till it's over but when will this stop?..I can't handle it anymore :(

deleted_user 03/19/2009

If I had the answer to this , I would cure us all, but the short answer is that it will take as long as it takes. That varies for each of us, but I can tell you that a month is a short amount of time. I think for me the worst of it was about 3 - 6 months but there were occasional triggers that came back to remind me of him. It is a roller coaster of up and down emotions for awhile, but you can get through this. Try and call a friend to be with you when you feel bad or alone. Do something that you have always wanted to do, but haven't had time too. Learn a language, to play an instrument., or just go somewhere that you have never been before. Idle hands are the hardest to over come. Stay with us here, and post your threads on the main board instead of the advice board and you will get more responses. I am sorry that you are hurting, but know that it will lessen as time goes on , and as you find your way into a new life. Healing hugs, Kimmee

strumphyy 03/19/2009

3 to 6 months normally sounds such a short period of time, so 'doable'...But now I find myself counting days, hours, forcing time to work for me...imagining there's a deadline for my heartache somewhere in the future..I know this is the wrong way to approach things..Healing isn't about frantically waiting for the time to run out. On the contrary it's about giving ourselves time to heal..I just wish that my heart wasn't a ticking clock..Thanks so much for your healing hugs Kimmee and for your response..I'll just have to accept the fact im on a roller coaster now..Hehe..I was always scared of them

deleted_user 03/20/2009

I think only time will tell... The more we get out and meet other people and allow ourselves to have fun, the better chance we have of moving on and being happy again.

deleted_user 03/21/2009

Hi Strumphyy,

I just joined this thing today and was reading through some of the postings and came across yours. I wish I had advice for you, but I'm going through the same exact thing as you. Except its been almost 4 months for me! I can tell you depending how long you dated this man for, that it does take a long time to heal from a break up, and I personally don't think a month is enough time. The feelings of sadness come and go for me too, but lately for me they are here and I feel as if they are here to stay. I'm just wondering how long you dated this guy for? Also, I think you (and me too) just need to be patient with this whole recovery process, you'll get there. I'm sorry if I didn't have good advice. Just wanted to let you know that your not alone in feeling this way!

Join the Conversation