This is a tough one, all I can say is keep busy and for get about his opinions. When you split his opinions mean nothing, but if you let them haunt you, you are never going to be able to move on. Hope you feel better soon.

Having someone who was suppose to love us talk to us like that can do so much damage to our mind. I too felt ugly and less than a person when my husband left and with the negative comments he made about me. I had to learn to love myself and get over it. It is not hard to do but as you grow stronger you will find that this won't bother you anymore.

I listen to FUN music. Before you know it you are singing along and the negative thoughts are GONE!! Beware though.. the side effect is that songs then plays in your head for the rest of the day.

You need to replace your inner dialoge. Get a freind to say those same things to you over and over again until those words no longer have the power to hurt you. Once you hear them a couple of hundred times they lose all meaning,and can no longer bring you down.
Then you can replace it with different, poisitive words!!!!!!!!!!!!

This worked for me. Hope it helps!

It's amazing how comments like that can really do a number on you. My STBX made several while we were still together that I can't let go of or get out of my head. It will cut you to the core.

Your STBX was saying these things during your breakup - they were obviously meant to hurt you. That doesn't mean they are true or that anyone else would think the same thing.

Try writing the comments down and burning the paper and then promise yourself you will never think about them again. I've heard other people say it works. Good luck.

My husband made similar comments about me. And I gained a lot of weight (50 lbs) in the last year due to hormonal medication. So even without his assholery I've felt bad about myself. In those situations I tell myself "so what if I am 50 lbs overweight, I still deserve to live a good life, enjoy myself and have friends." I remind myself that I'm not repulsed by or judgmental of my less attractive or overweight friends, why should I be so hard on myself.

It's not on the outside that make a person, it's what's in your heart.

My brother in-law once said that to be a whole person you needed to work on your mind, spirit and body each day. They're all connected. I believe that although I can't say I subscribe to it religiously - wish I did. But the truth is that when I am exercising regularly, I feel like a different person. You mentioned swimming, so maybe your already doing stuff. If you are don't worry about your body - we all have different body types. You mentioned diet pills - stay away from those there not going to make you feel any better. It's the work out that changes you. When you feel full of energy from exercise it make you more outgoing and you feel like getting out there more. Diet pills can't do that. Anyway hope that helps...

Who is in charge here? U or your x? Your ex is not even around any more and yet you let a few crappy things he said control u. The healthiest things we can do for ourselves is love our bodies. Big, bad and the out of shape....they r products of GOD and he don't do ugly! That doesn't mean we cant work on them. We are all works in progress. Look in the mirror, every day and say " I am beautiful and I will shine today" Say it, whisper it, scream it, write it down and stick it to the mirror, but get it into your head, and do not allow him any more power over u.

Your body is fine the way it is. I mean if you want to loose weight for health reasons, that is one thing. And if you want to make a few changes in hair style/color, your clothing, ect fine! Do it because it makes you feel good, not because you have to live up to someone elses opinion!

If you need to loose weight for health reasons, I would reccomend Weight Watchers. They are incrediably supportive and they teach you how to think good thoughts about yourself. It's not just a weight loss program, but a whole self renewal type thing! They talk to you about eating right, getting proper exersize, drinking all your water, positive self talk techniques, ect! I tell you what, its probalby less expensive and better for you than diet pills. (I am hesitant about those personally.)

Also, learning to be content with who you are RIGHT NOW is the MOST important thing. Think of all the positives, even your appearance. Here is a thought, You were created in the Image of God!! How on earth can that be ugly? Just like our personalities, we can take what we have and change what we can and accept what we cant!

Here is some little "homework" thing you can try. It may take a bit and feel kinda "forced" for a while but thats ok.

Write down your good points, especially concering your body.

Come up with 10 good qualities that have to do with both your looks and your personality.

Then write some things you dont like and would like to change(do NOT be perfectionistic here, take it easy on yourself!) Then, one at a time, see what you can do to change those things. (Like loosing weight if you need to, concentrate on possitive thinking, ect!)

Also, pamper yourself a bit. Take a nice bubble bath, enjoy a favorite treat. Do something nice for yourself each day. It's so easy to get bogged down in our daily duties that we forget we need to take care of ourselves in order to take care of the others in our lives! Be good to yourself and you may find that others will be good to you as well! I hope that helps! ((HUGS!!))

I can't get the thoughts out of my head either. I was told that I was stupid, that he didn't enjoy talking to me, that I had no sense of humor, that I was boring, that I was ignorant, that I was the most negative person in the world, that I can't cook, that I don't know how to fold towels right, that his ex wife was 10 times the woman that I will ever be, that I was a dead fuck, etc. and on and on and on, there is more hidden that comes up. I will be driving to work. I will be in a good mood and suddenly one of those things he said to me pops in my head. What the heck! I could NOT do anything right! Not ONE DARN THING!!! I have never ever had anyone ever tell me these things in my life!

I got very self conscious. It affected my work. I do presentations. I see the faces. They do not look bored, they are engaged. They do not think I am boring, lacking in humor, etc. I asked a coworker if they thought I was like that and they said absolutely not.

He said those things to HURT ME and it worked. It hurt deep in my soul. Hurt me more than anyone ever could have hurt me. And he knew it. That is why your ex said those things to you. They know exactly what they are doing when they say those things to you.

We need to do whatever it is to PUSH those thoughts out of our heads. We are not FAT, boring, stupid people. We ARE NOT!!!

Anyways, who cares what HE thinks now. His opinion does not matter AT ALL. We need to remember that. So build yourself up. Do not take diet pills. you don't need to lose weight because of what he has said to you. See yourself as others see you don't see yourself as what he said you were.

It is an awful thing to have someone that loves you say mean things to you. We have all been there to varying degrees.
No doubt, there is nothing wrong with the way you look. More likely, you are dealing with someone with a deformed mind.
A counselor may be a good place to go and talk.