Yes!

There were times I spoke, and spoke, and spoke and it probably stifled any chance of my exS thinking about things on his own. But r5hen again, he's a sociopath, so he probably never would have come to the appropriate conclusion for anyone except himself no matter what i said or did.

And then there were times I was silent and held my tongue and I felt stronger, more dignified, more solid.

But yanno, there were also a handful of times, I didn't care anymore about saving anything, or needed anything from him, and I just felt I deserved the opportunity and space to let him know what I thought about things. God knows, he took every single opportunity he could, to tell me what he thought, to have a tantrum, or fly into a violent rage.

I don't regret any of those 3 choices, but if I could only choose one, I'd choose silence yep.

Distance at times can also be welcome. When you don't have the ability to see that person, cross with him/her on the street or any other place.

what do you mean CMondo?

Hey Joy, I mean physical distance. When the connection is no longer possible and silence is difficult because both parties are close, I feel that living in different locations also help the healing during separation.

It is never easy.

I agree

I think it depends on the situation and the individuals involved.

I get silent when I feel backed in to a corner, not listened to or respected, or when I just don't think someone wants to hear from me. I would never give the silent treatment intentionally to hurt someone or make them think about the way they are acting. That is a form of manipulation. I hate to be manipulated myself, so I will try not to do it to others. But what I have found when going silent is some will think about what they did others will just say "well fuck him! I don't need his shit" and walk away. Some care they have hurt my feelings, others think along the wrong lines that I am just being pissy.

If I grow silent, it is most likely where I think I should just not be in this situation or I will think the other person just doesn't care or want me around.

Either way, I have seen both of those sides presented, which is too bad. I have seen a lot of people come in and go out of my life cus of misperceptions on my silence.

totally

Yes! Almost killed me during the process, but I (hope) finally got my point across. Finally, after years of shouting...and screaming...and crying...10 months of no contact and I feel back to my old self. The best bit? I couldn't imagine anything worse now than getting in touch with him. Why did I crave it like a life support before?! NO CLUE. Just being grateful for not even knowing now.

The first 3 weeks after H tossed me and moved his whore in...he called if i didn't call him. And I called far less then he called me. He Knew I would forgive. What he didn't get, is that I would never be his friend.
So..the first 3 weeks I did scream, cry, beg, ask why. And then realized, F Him! and his Whore! He doesn't need to know a damn thing about me. I stopped answering his calls, unless I knew it was about the kids. And I didn't answer his texts unless business.
10 months and I still cry, still hurt, but speak less. Have had a rough time since Memorial day. (car was totalled and he's been trying and did get me a new one..i have to go there to get it.ugh) but this too shall pass.
Yep. Say nothing to them. Let them wonder. Once he called Son and said a few things then, "where's your Mom at" Son said, "i don't know." wasn't all rude, but made it clear he wasn't going to be a go between. Our kids are over 18, two of them. They won't let him ask squat.
o.k. i'm rambling.

I always have this vain hope that my silence IS working.
In the beginningI really had a hard time staying awayand silence on his part absolutely killed me!
Honestly - it still does. I get a little panicked if he doesn't respond to something (text or FB), but he always does.
Lately, as I've gained a little more control of the situation, I've been able to keep more silent, and it definitely makes me feel like it's effective.
Gosh, I just hope it is. I hope that the silence makes him feel the loneliness of what he's missing out onand that he'll realize he wants it back. :/
In my situation (probably not for everyone), but I think it's important to balance the silence with contact. Not too much, not too little...

It's reeeeeeeeeeally goddamn hard, though.