I use to get this alot to. It use to bother me alot because the feelings where so raw and new. But the reactions and remarks have tone down. My emotions have healed with scares so its okay with me mostly. These things ( break ups / divorce ) happen and sometimes, for the best. There is nothing to pity me over just because my marriage is over. But people sometimes give that reaction as they seem to think its the right thing to do or lack of knowing what to do. It doesnt faze me anymore. Its just a minor thing in a life full of more important things for me to invest in.

I hope as time goes by, such reactions from people become less to you and less it bothers you.

Ironically I still remember the poor guy who was the first person to say "so how is T" and I wasn't prepared and totally hissed at him "I don't know you would have to ask his mistress that he left me for". Still horrified that I said it that way!

I don't really get asked about the ex much any more...I seriously think that social media help spread the word and kept the awkward moments to a minimum.

AT first it is awkward when people ask about things, I used to sugar coat the situation but my counselor said just tell them the truth ......he left me. I would always tear up and sometimes fall apart but it sure felt good to tell the truth, finally. I wasn't looking for pity or sympathy, just support and friendship. Everyone likes my ex so it is hard when they say they just don't understand, that they liked him....well people, so did I.....I will never understand why he left the way he did but since being on this site, I found out that it happens all of the time. You all are surviving so I can too.

It hurts because it reminds me that to my wife I was just dogshit to scrape off her shoe

Or that we were like a sack of garbage, thrown to the curb......

agreed. i also feel it is so awkward when people seem to know something is up, yet they just avoid the issue altogether because they don't know how to ask. but then when the they do end up asking me, or i say something that makes it clear, they act like they knew all along.

to me that is like, well wtf then? if you care about me and you "know" I'm separated and getting divorced, yet you don't even show me the tiniest speck of support, what am i supposed to think of our friendship? i seriously contemplate just posting on FB one day "Public Service Announcement: we're getting divorced. I'm not taking questions. That is all." but i would never do that, it's not me..

It hurts, I know. Even worse was when I was pretty sure the person asking already knew. I just told people he didnt want to be married to me anymore. He said it wasnt that simple but hey I could have said much worse-and it would have been true, too.

I had to answer a lot of, "Well what happened?" when my ex and I decided to separate. With my separation being very new, I moved 12 hours away..mostly to avoid questions like that. How does anyone say, "Well, you know. To him/her marriage just didn't mean what it did to me. You know, even though we talked about it for months before making the commitment." How does one deal with that? I don't know. I guess I'm just not in a place where I can answer the question without being snide or it bringing me right back to the ground. Hopefully, reading responses here it does get easier. I look forward to that moment.

Don't take what anyone says to heart 100%. Every situation is different.

I wouldn't even provide an explanation even if I wasn't the one at fault. My ex told half of the east coast what I did. But anyway, I'll probably act like a celebrity in the future and tell people we broke up due to "irreconcilable differences".