Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Hi all,
My husband left me 2 1/2 weeks ago. He said he needed to figure out who he was. He told me he has zero intention of coming back at the moment, maybe in the future, but not right now.
My husband was a cheater, Ive recently caught him messaging other women. Hes asked me to trust him. I have conveyed that my self esteem is low when it comes to other women. I thought i was communicating. While I 100% believe he hasnt physically cheated, hes whipped our situation around complete 180 and in his mind. I am on his back about everything, Ive cheated all throughout our relationship. He cant really trust women. He doesnt want to talk about it, hes sick of talking. Ive heard everything. He said he was moving out. I agreed very quickly. Now we have this fight in spring and fall. So when he asked to move out, i agreed, because i was sick and tired of him having a identity crisis every half a year.
The problem is .. I didnt want him gone. Iregret my agreeing to him moving out every single day so far. Now hes been gone for 2 1/2 weeks, and after a week of messaging each other, we got nowhere. After me asking for a few days to meet face to face, that has gone nowhere. Now i havent reached out to him for this whole past weekend, and he messaged me this am, saying.. "Good Morning!!"
I am SO CONFUSED!! Okay so i havent spoken to him, Ihad a very emotional weekend without him, and now I have to respond to this. I was so lost how to answer a message. What does this good morning mean? What does he want from me? I am so confused as to his rules of separation. I dont think he realizes just how lost and torn I am that he wants to be friends so qujickly. I dont want friend ship from him, I want my husband to come home.
I also dont want to close the lines of communication.
In my head i wanted to ask a million questions, tell him a trillion anecdotes. I really struggled with this. Im glad that i kept it to a minimal.. because i sure havent before. Thank you for replying to me. It helped me and affirmed my feelings. I too feel like he is playing a game with me. Especially after my sad weekend, i didnt want to feel this hopeful.
It is not closing the lines of communications by stepping back and taking time for yourself. By looking at the big picture and his actions, you can assess how his actions are good for him only and detrimental to your mental health. I bet once he realizes that you are moving forward and thinking about what is good for you that he will try harder to keep his Plan B intact. But ask yourself "Do you really want to be his Plan B?" I don't know you. Not at all. I can tell you that you deserve more.
You deserve so much more. He's not thinking about you. You are thinking about him. WHO IS TAKING CARE OF YOU? WHO IS LOOKING OUT FOR YOUR BEST INTEREST?
You know he is not. The one person in this world that will never leave you, hurt you, and always will be there for you wrote that post. I'm really big on giving to others and self sacrificing. I've learned that I've given so much I did not have anything left to give myself. You cannot help him if you do not take care of yourself. You cannot help anyone or be strong for them if you cannot do that for yourself. Self-care is not the same as being selfish. Think about yourself now while you have the time. Everything else will fall in place eventually.