I think it means to be happy and put yourself first.

Unless of course there are children Lizzie, then they come first, no?

I know how I was BEFORE I met my now husband but STBX. I was full of spontanaity, took chances, was happy and positive and had no trouble attracting like people. I took advantage of opportunities, tried new things, fun was always in the equation but I was still responsible and did the "right" thing. I don't know how to tell someone how to get to "that place" but if you can remember when you were happiest, go "back" to that place and how you were, maybe improve on some things but find out what brings you joy? Recreate yourself. I lost some weight and changes my hair color. It gave me inertia to keep it going...Look forward, do things different, start w/ little things and add something everyday!

i used to be such an independent women! i loved my freedom and my friends. now all i think about is how lonely i am. but i want that the change. i want to live my life! i am only young and there are still so many things i want to do before i settle down!

My goal is to get back to "me" and stay there no matter what. I will never, ever change myself to make a man happy again. How did we ever get so LOST in the process?

I agree with you, Downforthecount. Waiting to be 'rescued' by our soul mate is nonsense. Live begins now, not later.

i'm with you. alanon, counseling, church, walking, daily strength. i'm going to figure out me. make me the best i can be. ( will that mean the army will want me) haha. I'M WORTH IT.

That is my goal down. Happiness for myself and kids, is going to be what I make of it. I already fround my true love and all I have to do is make them happy until they are ready to leave me and start their own families. They also know they will always have me here when they need me good or bad.

I am single for the first time in my life after being in two long realtionships since I was 16. I read in a book that you have to be happy with yourself first and be able to fullfilled with being on your own before you can be in a functioning relationship. I could have never imagined being single, nor did I think I would be single again. BUt lately (even though still not there)I have for the first time felt that if I have to be alone for a while than I can be (do not want to though)

You must remember that the only thing you have control of in this world is yourself.

What will make this divorced person happy? Not looking at myself as "this divorced person" as if it's the plague or something. I was a whole person b4 I met stbx and I'm discovering or rediscovering what that means for me now.

I've had to rescue myself from being the lonely sad person which was not easy and still hits me from time to time but I'm slowly getting there.

Life is too wonderful and experiences too numerous to live in the sad world I had created for myself.

this person is going to look after me - going to be the person i want to be - I want to like myself I know I'm a good person with lots to offer. just heard a song " going to take back my heart to love again some day" I know i feel love is worthwhile!

What will make me happy? To love myself...be content with my life and absolutely comfortable with ME and being alone. I was there once...it was a painful process getting there, but it was rewarding. Unfortunately, I put myself on the back burner for the same man...and lost myself all over again. THIS time around...when I finally rediscover and fall in love with ME...I will never, ever, EVER let her go.

What will make this divorced person happy? To be myself again and find myself. To eventually find love again - a lasting love this time filled with loyalty, honesty and devotion. To have a partner in my next relationship - not a leech. And to be able to be financially free of debt for the first time since I have been married. Not much to ask for is it?

I don't remember who "me" is. Of course I don't remember being happy with the stbx or even what it really felt like to be with him. I guess I am still in a fog, trying to figure out where I want to go and what I want to do. One thing I do know is something has to change, if I continue on this path I will become one of those reclussive old ladies with fifty cats and garbage filled rooms that nobody knows is dead until the gawdawful smell alerts the neighbors. Yikes, I gotta get out of this house!